Charlie's Accidental Gay Cruise

I met Charlie and his second wife
On the accidental gay cruise

I should explain

My husband and I
Were on the cruise
When we saw Charlie and his wife
Sitting by themselves
At a table
In the dining room

My husband is the 'No gay left behind' type
So he said 'Let's go make friends with that poor man and his lesbian.'

It turns out
Charlie's travel agent had accidentally
Booked he and his wife
Onto a cruise
Without realizing that it was geared more towards the--

Well, the buffet crowd

The hub and I decided
To take Charlie and his wife
Under our wing
And we were inseparable all week

Let me tell you something

I love my husband
Like a virgin loves Daiquiris
But if ever there was a man
I would have strayed for
It would have been Charlie

There was just something about him
That was so tender
And sympathetic

When we stopped in Bermuda
The four of us
Took our photo
As the sun was setting
On the beach

And I still have that photo
On the mantel
At the house

We all exchanged numbers
And addresses
And for awhile
We were getting Christmas cards
From Charlie and his wife

And then we heard about the divorce
And eventually the drinking

My husband called
And found out about all that
But I just couldn't get into it

I didn't want to think of Charlie that way

I wanted to think of him
On that cruise

Dancing with his wife on the deck
To bad 70's muzak
Sung by a man who must have been
About ninety-three
With a little big band behind him

Going to the buffet twice
So he could get her extra prime rib
Because she was too embarrassed
To get it herself

Holding her hair
While she threw up
Over the side of the ship

Maybe he faltered a bit with time
But who among us stays perfect our whole lives?

Who doesn't slip and fall
And fail to live up to
Those pictures they take of themselves
When things are good
And the sun's making everything glow
In an unrealistically gorgeous way?

I decided to keep Charlie in my mind
The way I wanted to remember him

You can think whatever you want about that

I do whatever I can
To keep the happy times
In my mind

I find it hard to understand people
Who don't do the same