Charlie's Worst Student

Mr. Stamp gave me
My first 'F'

I remember when he announced it
He actually announced it
To the entire class

'...And you,' he said, looking right at me, 'Received an "F."'

Now, let me honest about this
I didn't deserve that 'F'

I deserved worse than an 'F'
I deserved a 'G,' a 'J', maybe even an 'R'
But the 'F' should have stood for 'Favor'

That was my first 'F'

I was shocked
The rest of the class was appalled
My parents wanted to tie Mr. Stamp to our car
And drag him through town
Like that Greek guy
In 'The Iliad'

The reactions were because, as you can see
I'm in a wheelchair

I have been my entire life
And it fostered an interesting work ethic in me
In that, I had none

I was a terrible student
But pleasant, very pleasant
And no teacher ever failed me
Because who fails a kid in a wheelchair, right?

I'd skip a paper or not study for a test
And then I'd cough a little bit
And apologize
And they'd get all flustered
And say not to worry about it
And plant a big old 'A' on my paper

I always wondered why it didn't occur to them
That being in a wheelchair
And coughing
Have nothing to do with each other

But I guess to most people
Sick is sick

Except Mr. Stamp

Mr. Stamp wasn't buying it

He wasn't buying the coughing
He wasn't buying the excuses about needing to go to the hospital
He wasn't buying that I couldn't do my work
And do it well

He just wasn't buying it

'From now on,' he said, 'As far as I'm concerned, that chair doesn't even exist.'

Suddenly I was studying
Actually studying

I was staying after school for tutoring
I was staying up late to cram information into my head
I was busting my ass and crying every single day

Suddenly...I felt like a student

Like a normal, run-of-the-mill student

And when my father called the principal
And the principal told Mr. Stamp that he had to go easier on me
Mr. Stamp said he'd quit
Before he'd cheat me out of an education
Because of the limitations other people had put on me
Which I had chosen to adopt

That's what he told me

He said, 'People have given you false burdens and you have worn them like a badge of honor.  From now on, if you're going to struggle, it's going to be for a good reason.'

That's when he informed me
That I was getting into college

Now, I'd given up on college
Somewhere around kindergarten

Me being on my own
Without any help
Without my Dad

It just didn't seem possible
Plus, as a student
I was a disaster

But Mr. Stamp, the first teach to flunk me
Was also the first teacher to push the issue
Of me continuing my education

'You're going to ace my class,' he said, 'Fair and square.  And with your other fabricated grades, that should be enough to get you into a very nice school somewhere.'

So I worked
And I worked
All year long
Not just on school
But on applying to colleges

When my Dad found out he was pretty upset
But I told him I probably wouldn't get in anyway

But then the letter came
And I got in

Full ride

Partly, I'm sure
Because of my recommendation letter
From Mr. Stamp

At graduation, he shook my hand
And wrote this message in my yearbook--

'To the Most Improved Student I Know.  Go back to your old ways, and I'll find you--and you know I mean that.  Sincerely, Mr. Stamp.'

All the kids from my class that year
Remember Mr. Stamp as being the asshole
Who picked on the girl in the wheelchair

I remember him as the best teacher I ever had

And I never did go back to my old ways
Except for that one day in medical school
When I snuck in a ten minute nap instead of a five minute one
After working forty-eight hours straight

But I still made it through
And last month I presented a paper
At an AMA conference in New York
That got a big fat metaphorical 'A'
From everybody there

It's like Mr. Stamp said

The chair
Might as well
Not even
Exist