Charlie at the Clam Shack

Charlie and I worked together
At the clam shack
One summer

I'd defrost the crabcakes
And deep fry the breaded imitation lobster rolls

And Charlie would box the oyster bites
And scrub out the clam bins

I'm convinced that the food there
Made you invincible
Because if eating there didn't kill you
You were probably going to live forever

We'd get out of work at around ten on weekdays
But on weekends, the shack was packed
Because it was right on the beach
And all the kids from school on vacation
Would park their cars out front
And order the 'Ten Clams for Ten Clams' special

I used to want to crawl into the freezer
When I saw someone I knew
But Charlie didn't care

I think he may have been the only person in history
Who actually liked working at the clam shack

After work, he and I would go sit on the beach
Because usually we'd be the only ones there
And the cops wouldn't show up
To send the druggies home
Until three
So that gave us about an hour
To sit and talk

I had a little crush on Charlie back then

I remember him rolling up the legs on his pants
And his sleeves
And seeing his tan lines
And thinking he was really cute
Even though he smelled like clam juice
And had little bits of oyster in his hair

Sometimes when I was too tired to fake pretending I didn't like him
I'd just put my head on his shoulder
And we'd keep right on talking
Like it was nothing

Once school started again
We never saw each other
Except in the hallways
Between classes

It's funny how you can be one person in the Summer
And a totally different person in the Fall

A few years later, when they finally closed the clam shack
Because of health code violations
I called Charlie and asked if he wanted to go sit on the beach with me one last time

I still had a key to the shack
So we snuck in past the yellow tape
And found some crab cakes in the cupboard

I know you probably think we're dumb for eating them
But trust me, those things were so full of preservatives
I think they would have outlasted a nuclear explosion

Charlie and I sat on the beach
Eating our crabcakes
And talking
And not talking
And thinking
About what we weren't talking about

And I think at one point
He gave me a kiss on the cheek
But it was so long ago
That might just be wishful thinking

You know, all these years later
When I start to miss things

I can't figure out if I miss that trashy old clam shack
Or just Charlie

Maybe I just miss Charlie

But it feels like more

It feels like I miss so much more