Charlie on the Radio

I used to run this radio show in college
And Charlie would call in
To request songs and stuff

He always requested Tom Jones
Which I thought was a joke
But then I realized he was being serious
So I used to call him Tom Jones

Then one day, I said--

'Hey Tom Jones, you sound pretty cute.  Why don't you come down to the studio?'

So he did

And he was

Cute, I mean
He was cute

So I kind of wasn't expecting that
And I think when I saw him
I hit the wrong button or something
Because 'Me So Horny' started to play
And that was definitely not the song
Mitzi wanted to dedicate to her boyfriend of three years

Then again, maybe it was
This was college after all

Charlie and I talked for a little bit
And then I had to get back to work

But every night after that
When I'd be working
He'd call and sometimes we'd talk off-air
And sometimes on
And people kind of got a kick out of it

We had this sort of weird radio chemistry
And it was fun, I mean, it was...

It was before I started dating this guy at the station
You know, which only happened
Because I was there so often

We started dating
And we'd sneak kisses in the studio when we could
And I was sort of screening out Charlie's calls now
Because it just felt wrong
To be flirting with him

Then one day, I'm getting ready to go on the air
And my boyfriend comes in
And just sort of gives me a quick kiss on the cheek
And then when I turn around
There's Charlie behind the glass
Holding up flowers
Looking like a sad little mime or something

He just walked out
And I couldn't go after him
Because I had to be on the air, you know?

He never called in again after that
But every once in awhile
I'd play Tom Jones
Just to see what would happen

Now I work at a radio station in Chicago
And the college boyfriend is long gone

And I still think about Charlie
Holding those flowers

Every once in awhile
The phones will go dead
And I'll have to make something up
So that there's no dead air

And usually when that happens
I make up something about this guy Charlie I knew once
What a great guy he was
And how I screwed it all up

Most of the story is fabricated
But it's a lot better that way
Than the truth

Usually when I'm done
I'll say--'This one's for Charlie'
And I'll play a song

Something like Nat King Cole
Something that evokes a certain mood, you know?

I send out the song
And close my eyes
And wonder if I'm going to get anything back

I wonder if somewhere Charlie's out there
Listening to me
And wondering if he should call in