Charlie's Brother

So you want to hear about my brother Charlie

Okay

He was my big brother
We grew up together
We were close
Then we weren't close

What else do you want to know?

Do you want to know about the stuff with my wife?

Yeah, she was married to Charlie
Then we started...

We fell for each other, you know
The way people do

Wasn't expected
Wasn't planned
Wasn't meant to hurt anybody
Especially not Charlie

But it happened
And we didn't deny it
So we got married
And obviously, Charlie didn't take that well
So he stopped talking to the both of us
And no, I don't blame him
And no, I don't give a shit
About what you think of me

I realize this is his funeral
So we're all here to make the people who were nice to Charlie heroes
And the people who were mean to him villains

But I'll be fucked twice and strung up to dry
If you think any of you assholes
Are going to sit there
And make me a villain

You don't know shit

You can sit here listening to person after person
Tell you stories about my brother
But my brother was in my blood
I knew my brother

Nobody here's going to tell me
They know my brother
Better than I do

You want to get on my case
About marrying his wife
Then let me ask you this--

How many of you would say you're happy?

Okay, those people who answered 'Yes'
You can shut the fuck up
For the rest of the time I'm up here

Those who answered 'No'
Let me ask you a second question--

What are you going to do about it?

Huh?

What are you going to do about the fact that you're unhappy?

I loved the woman my brother loved
And it made me unhappy
And I did something about it
And that made my brother unhappy
And that's life, right?

If we were all zebras or lions on the fucking Serengeti
Nobody would blame us for doing what we have to do
To stay happy
And we'd all be a lot better off
Aside from the fucking poachers

Did it upset me that I hurt my brother?

Yeah

It upset me
It upset my mother
It upset my wife
It probably would have upset my old man
If he hadn't taken off already

It upset me
But it didn't make me unhappy

I could live with it

Because I had my wife
And a year after that
I had my kid, my son

And that was all I needed

My brother never said one word to me
For the rest of my life
After the day I told him
About what was going on

Not a single word

Not when my mother died
Not when we found out about my dad
And the kid he had after he took off
Not when I was laying in a hospital bed
Watching my body melt into the mattress

Never, not a word

Now look, like I said
I don't blame him

There are things in life that some people see as being unforgivable
And I can see marrying your brother's wife as being one of them
There's a biblical element to it
That seems to make it extra-bad

But after years, and we're talking years here
We're talking decades

I was lying in that hospital bed
With my wife on one side of me
And my son on the other

And I wanted my brother there

And I wanted my brother to want to be there

To leave this world at peace
You follow what I'm saying?

Because now that I'm gone
I don't give a shit about anything
Anybody ever did to me

If you stabbed me in the throat while I was alive
I could look at you right now
And tell you don't worry about it

Because it doesn't matter

None of it matters

You hear that a lot, but trust me
You don't fully absorb it
Until you're looking back at some doctor
Closing your eyes for you

You expected me to come here
And tell you about my brother

Maybe say I'm sorry
Maybe apologize for what did

Well fuck you

None of that stuff is your business anyway
And if I'm going to apologize to anybody
It's going to be to Charlie, when I see him
If I see him

None of you need to hear that

I came here today to tell you
That if there's anybody you've left hanging in your life
Some person lying in a hospital bed somewhere
Waiting on you to say 'screw it' and go see them

Then I suggest you do that

He was my brother

What else do you want me to say?