Charlie Goes Running

I used to see Charlie out running
Every day

I had just started
And I used to see him
And that inspired me
To start running

But the thing about running
Is that you think
You wouldn't be difficult
Because, you know
It's just walking but faster

But I started doing it
And I got tired

Like, really fast

And you know how people tell you
That exercise will make you feel good?

Well, they're pretty much lying

I went running
And felt awful
I felt like I wanted to die

So I thought
Maybe I need a running partner
So I waited outside my house one day
Until Charlie went running by
And then I just sort of started jogging along with him

He kept looking over at me
But he didn't say anything
Until I said--

'I'm running with you'

And then he sort of stopped
And said--

'Yeah'

And then I realized
I must have sounded deranged
So I explained to him
That I needed a running partner
And he said 'Okay'
And we kept running

I'd run with him about once a week
Which isn't really much
In terms of actual exercise
Especially when you're spending the rest of the week
Binge eating and getting drunk
In places with poor lighting

I guess this was all the result
Of my last break-up
And I just couldn't seem to shake
How upset I was

And again, the running didn't feel good
But I did like having someone to talk to

Then one day, Charlie showed up at my house
On a Tuesday, I remember
Because Tuesday wasn't the day we ran together
Wednesday was usually our running day
Unless I was hung-over
In which case
I would just move it to Thursday

But there Charlie was
At my door
OnTuesday
And when I told him it was the wrong day
And also, eight o'clock at night
He said he'd come to tell me
I couldn't run with him anymore

When I asked if the pain of running
Was getting to be too much for him
And offered to just start a board game night with him
He told me that it wasn't that he wasn't going to run anymore
He just didn't want to run WITH me anymore

I asked him why
And he said he was going through a divorce
And that his life was in shambles
And that running was the only time he had
To be by himself
And reflect

Do you even know what that means?

Reflect?

I thought only mirrors could do that

Anyway, I was pretty offended
But I played it off like I wasn't

I just told him that it was cool
And I'd probably just kill myself
And if I do he shouldn't feel responsible
Because what's another dead guy
In the grand scheme of things

And he was like--Okay, glad we sorted that out
And took off

That was the last time I saw Charlie
And I'm tell you something--

I wasn't that upset about it

I could kind of feel
That he was sucking a lot of energy out of me

Once I was done with him
I ended up meeting this really cool guy
And we moved to San Francisco
Where we run a used bookstore
And have board game nights
Like the one I suggested to Charlie

It was great to meet someone I could drink with
And stay up all night with
And, you know, kind of party from time to time
Go a little crazy

Try some new stuff
You know what I mean

At least my new guy
Wasn't interested in running

It's my experience--

--And this is just me, but--

It's my experience
That when you're running
You're running from something

No wonder it never appealed to me

I like to deal with my problems
Face-to-face

I guess we can't all be that self-aware