Charlie's Daughter's Friend

I was friends
With Mr. Stamp's daughter

When we were in middle school
And then when we go to high school
She was...

Uh, we stopped being friends

I was more artistic as a kid
And she was sort of the prom queen type
Which wasn't my...

Uh, that just wasn't me

It's fine, you know
People grow apart
Especially girls

How many people stay friends their whole lives?

But, Mr. Stamp would see me out
Like, in town and stuff
And he'd ask about me and his daughter
And I'd say--'Uh, she's okay, Mr. Stamp'
Because it was awkward, you know
To answer

To try and explain

She only saw Mr. Stamp on weekends anyway
And sometimes not even then
Because, um, well you know how divorce is and stuff

My last memory of Mr. Stamp
Would be the prom

Mr. Stamp used to chaperone proms
And then he stopped
But when his daughter started going to the high school
He started again
I guess, to kind of
Keep an eye on her

And we were at the prom
And I wasn't having the best time
Because I was just there with my gay friend
And he ended up making out in the parking lot
With the captain of the lacrosse team

So I was just kind of sitting by myself
And then I noticed that Mr. Stamp's daughter
Was sitting by herself too
And she looked like she was crying or something
So I went over to say hi to her
And like, offer to talk or something

But as soon as I said hi, she said--

'CAN YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?'

Really loud
Like, really loud

She said--

'It's bad enough my boyfriend just broke up with me and is now making out with your STUPID gay friend but now I have to look at your ugly ass face feeling BAD FOR ME?'

Everyone was staring at us

I felt so embarrassed

I wanted to run into the man-made pond
Right outside the country club
And drown myself


But then I saw Mr. Stamp come walking across the room
Striding, really, striding
I guess is the word

And he grabbed his daughter by the arm
And she screamed--

'Let me go!'

And he pointed at me
And said--

'You apologize!'

And I could--

I could smell it on his breath
That he'd been...

You know...

And I mean, his daughter was being mean
She really was
But I mean
This was high school and--

He said--

'You're a selfish little spoiled brat!  Now you apologize!  I will not be the father of the a rotten bitch!'

And then she hauled off
And slapped him

Slapped him right across the face

And he sort of--

Reeled back, I guess

And she said--

'You haven't been a father at all!'

And she ran off

I felt...

I felt so terrible

I mean, he was sort of defending me
And if I hadn't gone over to say something
To his daughter...

It wasn't a very good prom

I don't know if this story makes him sound bad
Mr. Stamp
I hope it doesn't
I mean we all have our...

I went to Miami after this
And became a pretty successful artist
But, I had a few years
Where I started using
Pretty regularly
And one night
I was using
And I used too much
And...

None of that matters, but...

But the point is
I was a pretty nice person
Even then

Even when I was making mistakes

And sometimes when you're a nice person
Trapped in something like that
Like a drinking problem or whatever
You do bad things
But in your head you're doing good, you know?

You think you're doing okay

He shouldn't have ruined his daughter's prom
But...maybe in a way, he thought he was helping her
Helping her turn out to be the sort of person
Who doesn't humiliate other girls
Like that

I just remember I felt bad for him
I felt...

I just felt so bad