Charlie in Italy

I never had Mr. Stamp as a teacher
Because he taught Computer Science
And the occasional Creative Writing class
And I'm more of a Philosophy/Independent Film Studies sorta gal

The only interaction we had
Was on a class trip to Italy

Mr. Stamp was one of the chaperones
And we sat next to each other on the plane
Where he had to talk me down
From an anxiety attack I was having
Because I had just watched 'The Poseidon Adventure'
On television the night before

He said--'I don't understand why you're upset.  That was a boat--not a plane.'
And I said--'There was an ocean involved, Mr. Stamp!  What's the difference?!?'

Once we landed, I felt a little bit better
But that might also be because
Mr. Stamp ordered a gin and tonic
And then slipped it to me
When nobody was looking

Don't judge him

If he hadn't done it
I might have crawled out onto the wing
Or chewed off all of my own hair

When we got to Italy
There was an itinerary planned
But whenever I hear the word 'itinerary'
What I'm really hearing is 'death'
So I just sort of did my own thing

Wouldn't you know that two days later
Everybody from school was scouring Rome
Trying to find me
And I was holed up in the apartment
Of a lovely gentleman named Carlo
Who may or may not have been thirty-four

Mr. Stamp ended up being the one who spotted me

I was sitting at an outdoor cafe with Carlo
Detailing how we'd get him through customs
So I could bring him back with me
When I felt a hand on my shoulder

'Mr. Stamp!' I said, suddenly remembering that I hadn't so much as called anyone from school in days, 'Would you like some biscotti?'

On the way back to the hotel
Mr. Stamp asked if I thought about the consequences
Of what I had done

'Mr. Stamp,' I said, 'I did think about the consequences, but then I thought about the rewards.  And the rewards were just much more attractive.'

Then Mr. Stamp did something funny

He laughed

I suppose I appealed to his sensibilities

When we arrived at the hotel
Mr. Stamp had me go up to my room
While he talked to the other teachers

'I'll be expelled for this, won't I?'
'Considering we're in Rome,' he said, 'You'll be lucky if they don't feed you to the lions.'

I said, 'It was worth it, Mr. Stamp.  I made love in Italy.  How many people can say that?'

'Well,' he said, 'Pretty much everybody who lives in Italy, but I see your point.'

He admitted to seeing my point
Wasn't that lovely of him?

While I packed my bags
Preparing to be sent back to America
In the cargo hold of the plane, most likely
I thought of Carlo
And how we promised to stay in love forever
Right before he told me he was married
But that the love was gone

Ah, amore

Then there was a knock on the door
And Mr. Stamp informed me
That provided I was not too tired from my experience
I could continue on with the trip

'Tired' I said, wondering why he would choose that word, 'What are you talking about?'

Apparently, Mr. Stamp had told everyone
That I had run into some long lost Italian relatives
And gone back to their village with them
Where there were no phones

The other chaperones were still mad
And doubtful of the story, to say the least
But none of them wanted to lose their jobs
By admitting they had lost a student
So they went along with Mr. Stamps colorful tale

'Mr. Stamp,' I said, 'You're brilliant.'
'You should take Creative Writing next year,' he said, 'You'll learn a few things.'

We finished the trip
Went home
And I only needed half a gin and tonic
On the plane ride back

That's my story about Mr. Stamp

Isn't it a lovely one?

I think it's just lovely