Charlie's College Graduation

I met Charlie at graduation
--College graduation

I had gone back to school
To become a teacher
After my last kid left the house

You know, some women
Their kids leave the house
They sit around
They join book clubs
They knit
They look at their furniture
And decide they don't like it

I didn't want to be one of those women
So I went back to school

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry
This is about Charlie, isn't it?

Or it's supposed to be
Before I went rambling on and--

Anyway, we sat next to each other
At graduation

And we were talking
Because, well, graduation is long
And the speaker was doing that thing
Graduation speakers do
Where they use metaphors like--

Life is a road
Life is a flower
Life is an open book

Ours said 'Life is a cranberry muffin...'

And I started giggling

The image of a cranberry muffin
Popped into my head
And I just lost it

I'm one of those people
I laugh when I'm not supposed to
God knows how I ever thought
I was going to fourth graders

Then Charlie started laughing
And for the rest of graduation
We would look at each other
And just lose it

If you look at the picture of me
Walking across the stage
To get my diploma
I have a stifled laugh
Sitting right in my throat
And you can see it

After graduation, I was taking photos with my family
And I noticed Charlie standing by myself
Just sort of shuffling his feet
Saying hi to his classmates

I asked him where his family was
And he said his younger brother wasn't feeling well
So his mom stayed home to take care of him

'How young is your brother,' I asked
'Just a few years younger than me,' he said
'And he can't take care of himself for a few hours so your mother could see you graduate college,' I asked

But then I saw the look on his face
And I let it go

Some people get saddled
With real jerks for parents
Let me tell you

I didn't even want to know what the father's excuse was

'Charlie,' I said, 'Take a picture with me so you have something to remember today by.'

He tried saying that was okay
He didn't need a picture
But I insisted

After we took the picture
I asked him if he wanted to come out to eat
With me and my family
But he said he felt embarrassed

Do you believe that?

The poor guy gets ditched by his family
And he's the one feeling embarrassed

'Charlie,' I said, 'I went to college at the same time as my youngest kid.  My Intro to Lit Study professor was three years younger than me.  Today I had to listen to a woman tell me my life was a cranberry muffin.  Learn to laugh, Charlie.  That's my graduation speech--learn to laugh.'

I gave him a hug
And then his roommate showed up
And the two of them ran off
To some party off-campus

I didn't see Charlie again
Until my last year of teaching fourth grade
When a little girl walked into my classroom
With her father right behind her
Looking more nervous than she was

I wasn't sure he'd recognize me
After all those years
But then he leaned down and whispered to his daughter--

'This is Daddy's friend'

Then he looked at me and said--

'You going to teach her to laugh?'

That's my Charlie story