Charlie's Witness

I showed up at Charlie's house
At around eight in the morning

He was my first house of the day
And when he opened the door
I was pretty sure he was going to slam it shut again
Right in my face

When you're a Jehovah's witness
You get used to that sort of thing

Doors slamming
People cursing at you
Trying to explain Jesus
To a seventy-four-year old Croatian woman

Charlie was around seventy himself
And older men are the worst
When it comes to this sort of thing
So my hopes weren't high
When I started talking

'Sir,' I said, 'I wonder if I could have a minute of your time.'

'You one of those crazy religious nuts,' he asked

'Yes, sir,' I said, 'I am'

'Well all right,' he said, as if my honesty were somehow the magical password, 'Come on in, I have strudel.'

So we sat
Eating strudel
While he set up a Monopoly game
For a friend that was coming over later

He let me give my speech
But I didn't get as much conversation out of him
As I would have liked

Then, when I was done going over my material
He said--

'Can I ask you a question?'

I said--'Of course.  I was hoping you would.'

He took a deep breath
And told me a story about a friend he had
When he was younger
Who committed suicide

He wanted to know if I believed
That man was in Heaven

I could see that this friend meant a lot to him
So I said that my feelings on the subject
Were complicated

Then he told me that he believed
His friend took his own life
Because he was...

...That he was interested in men

And he asked if that would also prohibit him
From being in Heaven

This was not the first time
I've been asked these questions
But it was the first time a little old man was asking me them
While serving me strudel
And looking at me
As though his life depended on the answers

'No, sir,' I said, 'I don't believe he's in Heaven.'

At that, Charlie stood up
So I did as well
And he said--

'Then why would I want to go there?'

He showed me to the door
And I went to my next house of the day

A few hours later
I arrived at the hotel

I went into the room
I removed my clothing
I waited for an hour
And then he showed up

We...

We do this every so often
Not regularly, but...

Often enough

What I didn't tell Charlie
Was that I don't believe I'm getting into Heaven

I don't believe I can save myself
And I'll probably wind up taking the same course of action
That his friend did
All those years ago

When he asked me why he would want to go to Heaven
If his friend wasn't going to be there
What I wanted to say was--

'Because he might be there, sir.'

That's what I pray for
When I pray

More than anything else
I pray that
Despite what I believe

One day

We'll all be there