Charlie at the Liquor Store

Charlie would come in
Just about everyday

Especially once the divorce was done

He'd usually get a six pack
Which I find most of the problem drinkers get

They think it makes them look normal

'Just picking up a six pack'

It's harder when you're older
Because then it's harder to make yourself look like
You're just picking up some beers
For the guys back at the frat house

When you're younger
It's a lot easier to be an alcoholic

Charlie wouldn't look at me
When he'd buy his beer

And when he switched to harder stuff
He avoided looking at me even more

Like I was judging him or something

I felt like saying, 'Dude, I go home every night and shoot up.  I'm not judging you for your pussy ass drinking problem.'

But I didn't say that

Instead I just asked for his I.D.

Just 'cause

Then one day Charlie comes in
Looking pretty sour

He was way out of it
Looked like he hadn't slept
Or eaten or taken a shower, you know?

Just the truth, I mean
It was pretty bad

He grabbed the six pack
And put it on the counter
Then put down the cash
And turned around

I mean, he really turned around
All the way

And you know...

I have bad days, okay?

I have bad days
Just like everybody has bad days
And that was just...

That was a bad day for me

For reasons, I'd rather not talk about

That was a bad day

I mean, okay, just an example

My girlfriend changed the locks on the apartment
Because she found Jesus
And he told her I was the Devil

I slept on my front doormat all night
Really needing a fix
And really hoping
She wouldn't call the police on me
Since I had nowhere else to go

And there I am standing at the cash register
With this douchebag drunk
Avoiding looking at me
Because he can't handle his shame

So I'm like, Fuck dude
Fuck that

I had to sleep on my shame last night
So if you're going to guzzle yours down
You're going to do it right here and now

So I pop open a beer
And that gets Charlie to turn around
And I offer it to him

'What are you doing,' he says

'Drink it,' I say

Him acting like he doesn't want to

Dude, obviously you want to
Or why would you be here
On a Tuesday night
When most guys are home with their family
Eating dinner
And leading a normal fucking life

'Drink the beer,' I say

I pop one for myself
And then I roll up my sleeves
So he can see the track marks

There's my shame, dude

That's what I think
I think

There's my issues
Right there

Looking right at you

And I drink my beer
And then, Charlie drinks his
And then I walk out

I walk out of the store on him
And I don't walk back in

Instead I walk to my apartment
Break the window using the dead potted plant
My girlfriend keeps outside

Took some of my shit
And took off

I didn't get straight until a few years later
But I did get straight
And when I did
I bought a pair of sunglasses
And never took them off

Wasn't too hard for me to look people in the eye
While I was doing what I was doing
But once I got clean
I found it was a lot harder
To make that connection with people

Some people are ashamed of what they're doing
Some people are ashamed of what they've done

I guess Charlie was the first kind
And I was the second

You know, I've gotten a lot of shit figured out in my life
But shame is the one thing
I can never quite understand

I wonder if Charlie had more luck with that
Than I did