A Moon for the Misbegotten

I remember just sort of sitting there

That night

We were going to cancel the show

And then it didn’t feel right

To cancel

So we didn’t

We said, ‘Okay, let’s do the play’

I was playing Josie’s younger brother

If you know the play

Do you know A Moon for the Misbegotten?

It’s a good play

And uh, it’s long

So we thought

Well…

I think we thought

Nobody’s coming to the theater tonight

Because of what had happened

And it was a Tuesday

And you know, we never have big crowds

On a Tuesday anyway

But after what had happened

That morning…

So we’re going to go onstage

And one of the actors

The one playing Jim says, you know

I don’t know if anybody’s religious or whatever

But is it okay if we say a prayer

And I’m an atheist

But I say, Fuck it

A prayer’s just a prayer

So we pray

Then we go out there

And before we do

I think—

How did actors do it the day Kennedy got shot?

How did they do it when Oklahoma City happened, you know?

Or Columbine

Or, I don’t know, when their parents died

Or their husbands and wives left them

Like, I hadn’t been acting that long

I was just a kid

This was, God, this was eleven years ago

And I thought—How am I going to be expected

To keep going onstage

My whole life

No matter what?

And then we walked out there

And the place was full

I mean full

People just wanted…somewhere to go, I guess

And we did the show

And there were all these eyes

All these really grateful eyes

I can’t describe it

It was like—

Like they were saying—

Thank you for letting us just get lost in this

For a little while

And I guess—I guess that’s how I figured out

How you keep going

How the, fuck, yeah, I guess

How the show goes on

Because in a way, it’s a service, you know?

You’re not a doctor

Or a soldier

Or a firefighter

But you serve

In your own way

You serve

And so you go onstage

No matter what

That’s what makes you feel good about it

About what it is you do

At least for me anyway

That’s what my answer was