Which is really kind of cool
When you think about it
Because that’s pretty much what I am
I’m doing the show
And then moving to New York
Which is, like, cliché, I know
But it’s still something
I feel like I need to do
I talked to Ten, um, to the Artistic Director
My boss, but also, sort of, I don’t know
Like a father figure to me
I talked to him about it
And he was like—
‘Well, if you have to do it’
And I said—‘I think I do’
It’s like—
I could get comfortable here, you know?
I mean, this place has been around for fifty years
I could just hang out
And be here in another fifty
And they could wheel me out
And say—‘Look at this old fossil. He led a comfortable life’
But I don’t want that!
Maybe I’m not good enough to make it in New York
Or anywhere other than here
But I look around
At this acting company
At all these people
Who just wound up staying here
Because they were too scared to try anything else
Or because they felt like they owed it to somebody
To their spouses
Their kids
To the other people who work here
I’m loyal, don’t get me wrong
But I can also hear my life going by
And it’s starting to freak me out
I’d like to leave on good terms
But the thing is, nobody really does
They hate you when you leave
Because they’re scared you’ll do it
They’re scared you’ll be the one
Who actually makes it
And it means they might have made it too
If they’d really given it a shot
So I’m not going to tell anybody
I’m going to write them all letters
And send them all out at once
Like I’m tossing them off a roof
Or something
And they’ll all say the same thing
‘To the Acting Company,
Don’t hate me
I had to try’
They’ll still hate me
But at least maybe then
They’ll think about trying too
Eventually somebody’s gotta step outside these doors
And see what else is out there
Because there’s gotta be something, right?
Good or bad
There has to be something
Besides the Orpheus Theater
And the acting company
And fifty more years
Of just waiting
For something else
To happen
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