The Real Thing

We were doing The Real Thing

In 1989

When Gracie won the Oscar

For that movie she did

I never saw that movie

Because there was some sexual stuff in it

And I’ve known Gracie since she was—

God, this high off the floor

So I didn’t want to see that

But I heard she was good

She must have been

I mean, they don’t go giving awards

To people who can’t act, do they?

Were people in the company jealous when she got all that attention?

Well, of course

That’s natural

Everybody was always jealous of everybody though

Jealousy was nothing new

But I didn’t want to hear about it

When it came to Grace

That girl busted her ass

To get where she got

And she deserved that award

The night she won, I had a few people over the house

To watch the ceremony

And when they called Grace’s name

I just, uh—

She played my daughter six times

And, I know it’s all theater and acting and whatnot

But…it always felt sort of real to me

I never had a daughter of my own

So, well, I guess I liked the pretending

Whenever they’d cast me as her Dad

Gracie would say—

‘Looks like I gotta get you something for Father’s Day this year, huh Mike?’

That always made me feel good

I was sort of hoping she’d mention me in her speech

But you know they only give ‘em a minute or two

And with all those people to thank

It was silly to think

She’d say something about me

After everybody had gone home that night

I sat on my couch

Trying to work up the strength

To throw myself in bed

When the phone rang

I picked it up—

‘Well--Did you see me on tv?’

I kid you not

It was her

I told her she better be getting me something really big

This year for Father’s Day

‘You did a nice speech,’ I said, and then, just to kid with her, ‘But you forgot all about me.’

I heard her laugh on the other end of the line

And then she said—

‘What are you talking about?  Didn’t you see me put my hand over my heart?  That was for you, Pop.  Who else would that have been for?’

That was Grace

That was my girl