Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Saint Joan

I met my husband doing Saint Joan
In 1998
At the Orpheus Theater

We fell in love right away
It was just
One of those things

And by the time the show was over
He wanted to marry me

I know he did
Because I told him so

I said, ‘You want to marry me, don’t you?’
And he said, ‘Yeah, sure’
And that was how he proposed

I’ll never forget it

After the show one night
He says, ‘I want to marry you but I can’t
Because of my mother’

I said—‘What about your mother’

And he said—‘My mother is very religious’

And I said—‘What religion is she?’

And he said—‘The religion that says an actress is just a whore with more make-up.’

I said—‘But you’re an actor’

He said—‘She thinks I’m a dermatologist.’

Luckily, he stood up to his mother
When I drove him to her house
And pushed him through the front door

She was a little apprehensive about our marriage at first
Until I told her that I loved her son very much
And that I would be a loving and compassionate daughter-in-law
And that if she didn’t give us her blessing
I’d burn her house to the ground’

That was when she took me in her arms
And said I was the daughter she never had

My husband took one look at us
His mother and his soon-to-be-wife
Two peas in a pod
And he started to cry

It may have been the first time
But it wouldn’t be the last

I can tell you that much

Me?—I gave up acting

What can I say?

Being a wife
Was just more fun

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