In the winter of 1991
Which, as a gay man
I found to be incredibly insensitive
I mean, it’s not an insensitive play
It was written by a gay man
But the timing—
It was just no longer appropriate
What with being about a bathhouse and all
When people were dying
I mean, obviously not to the extent
That they were in New York
Or other bigger cities
But still, some people were—dying, and uh…
I mean, did we know people?
Sure, we all knew people
None of us in the acting company had—
Uh, were infected
Which was—lucky
I mean, very lucky
Because some of us, uh, there were…
I mean, some of us had lived
Really lived
Through the 70’s
And the 80’s
And obviously did things
And lived
In such a way
Where, at times
We were, uh, careless, I would say
I mean, I’m just speaking for me and…
Okay, I guess, uh, we should…
The point is to be honest, right?
Okay
So let’s be honest
Jim had it
We’re not supposed to talk about that
We didn’t
We never…
But he did
He had it
He, ironically, got it from a married guy
In case you’re thinking
Oh, well, that’s typical
Gay Artistic Director with HIV
Believe me, it was a very atypical situation
Because the guy and his wife
Were in the company
And…
It was this big mess
And so much of it was, sort of, um, taboo
And I, uh…
I actually cared about Jim
Very much
And it killed me
It really did
Knowing
Finding out
Through gossip
And not being able
To offer any support
At that time
But I did go to him
And ask him not to do The
Ritz
Because it just seemed
So wrong
Not just because of his situation
But because it was 1991
And it was…
But I think
God, I almost think
It was his way of distracting everybody
From the truth of the situation
Like, look we’re going to do
A big slap-happy comedy
Set in a bathhouse
Set in a time
Before everything was crazy
And people were dying
And nobody knew what to do
Or maybe he just wanted to immerse himself
In that time
Back when it was all fun
And nothing could hurt you
Because you were an actor
Or a writer
Or an Artistic Director
You were meant to act stupid
And not pay for it later
I don’t know
Maybe he just wanted to pretend
To keep pretending
God knows pretending
Was the one thing
We were all
Really good at
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