Hedda Gabler

I said, ‘Ten, we had a deal

We had a deal

That we wouldn’t come here

You know you have too much baggage

Associated with this place

But, you know, he didn’t want to hear it

So, fuck it, we came’

Great

He promised me Hedda Gabler

He said ‘You’ve always wanted to play Hedda

Do this

Move with me

And I’ll give you Hedda

It’s a great opportunity’

Yeah, an opportunity for every girl in the acting company

To hate my guts

And I was too young to play Hedda

Although, I guess, not really

I’m sure other people have done it

But nobody I knew

My husband’s father went through girl after girl

Wife after wife because of this place

And now he wanted to take his father’s job

And tell me

That it wouldn’t be like that for us?

And I believed him

He waited until his second season

To announce Hedda

To sort of, sneak it in

Without anybody noticing

He was giving his wife

This great role

And it didn’t work

Everybody noticed

Actors don’t miss a thing

And they raised hell

And it got back to the Board

And the Board called him in

And said something would have to be done

To appease those poor sensitive actors

In the acting company

Something would have to be done

To show that there would be no more favoritism

Even though every Artistic Director everywhere

Plays favorites

And casts themselves in shows

And fucks anything they want

No, but in this case

There needed to be consequences

To ensure that Tennessee

Wouldn’t wind up

Just like his father

A regular Julius Caesar

So they asked him to fire me

They asked him to fire

His own wife

And do you know what?

He did it

He told me he had to

What choice did he have?

This was the Orpheus Theater

This theater had his family’s blood in it

Well, I punched him in the nose

And added some more blood

To the carpet

Then I left

He said it wasn’t choosing the theater over me

It was just giving into the Board

So one of us could keep our jobs

But I said that was bullshit

Because it was

I took off and I never came back

I had no urge to

This theater is nothing

But a roomful of ghosts

My husband’s lost

Somewhere in that theater, you know

The husband I showed up with anyway

My husband

And his father

His mother

And God knows who else

They should just board it up

Like a tomb

Before it claims anybody else

Because trust me

Nobody gets out of that place alive