The Pajama Game

You ever been in one of those shows

Where you have absolutely no idea

What’s going on

At any given time

Regarding the story

Or, really, anything that pertains

To what’s happening around you?

That was me during The Pajama Game

One of the, god what’s the word I want?

Stupidest musicals

Or, really, rather

Pieces of theater

Ever—I mean, ever

I was thrown into this musical

Because I’m a boy

And I was a guest actor

At the Orpheus

For the 1989 – 1990 season

And I could sort of, kind of hold a tune

And that meant

I had to do The Pajama Game

Ladies and gentlemen, I make it a point

To be honest with an audience

I was taught by the great Jaysoir Nozair

That if you lie to an audience

They can see you naked

So I’m honest to a fault

And honestly

I have no idea what The Pajama Game is about

I never did

Not even while I was in it

I remember, at one point

Thinking—I’m standing onstage right now

In a show—and if somebody asked me

If somebody put a gun to my head

And said—what’s this show about?

I wouldn’t be able to tell them

I’m not even sure I knew my character’s name

In that musical

Nor did I care to find out

I don’t have any sort of deep, soulful anecdote

About how I learned to love…anything

But you know, what I can say is this—

That show did actually bring my father and I

Closer together

No, it’s true

I told my Dad how I was in this bullshit musical

Where I was expected to just show up

And play a small part

To help put together

This massive thing

That would make lots of money

But would not fulfill anybody working on it

And once it was over

I probably wouldn’t know what it was about

Or what it was for

Or why it ever existed in the first place

And my father, an army guy

Who had always told me I was a bum

For doing theater

Looked at me and said

‘So you finally got a job, huh?’

That’s my story, folks

I’d love to say I got a million of ‘em

But…I don’t

And thank goodness for that