Beyond Therapy

We were doing a comedy

While our boss was dying

You know how they say theater problems?

Like, how idiots who think they’re clever

Say hashtag theater problems?

Yeah, well

Our boss, our Artistic Director

Was dying of cancer

While we were supposed to be doing

A relationship farce

Theater problems, no hashtag

Real theater problems

It was Beyond Therapy

The show, not the situation

Although I guess—ugh, whatever

I hate talking about this

I hate talking about that time

And Sarah

And the, you know, death of it all

We’re artists

We create

We don’t like hearing about destruction

And yet we’re sort of morbidly fascinated by it

Aren’t we?

Oh God, now I sound like I’m running a talkback

Look, she was sick

And we weren’t supposed to say anything

About her being sick

But tell fifteen actors

To keep a secret

And see what happens

It’s like telling dogs

Not to piss on oak trees

So anyway, there we are

Doing a ha ha ha comedy

And everybody at every knows

That at any minute

Sarah’s going to die

So there’s this tense cloud

That sort of hangs over everything

And nobody thinks the show is bad

But nobody can exactly say they’re having a great time either

The local critic said he had—‘No complaints’

But really I think he was depressed

Because he sort of loved Sarah

In this weird, obsessive sort of way

Everybody did

She was—

Really cool, you know?

That sounds awful

But then again

I didn’t give her eulogy

So what do you want from me?

She didn’t die during our show either

She was a true Artistic Director

She died at the end of the season

I remember being at the funeral

And just—giggling

Like, you know, Mary Tyler Moore

In the ‘Chuckles the Clown’ episode?

I had to stifle a laugh, because…

Because Sarah loved a good cast, you know?

She liked doing these big giant shows

With everybody in the company

Playing a role

And she could never get that

Because of budgetary reasons

Or whatever

And so, here we were

All assembled

Company members

Past and present

And Sarah couldn’t be there to see it

I know you probably call it sad

But I think it’s funny

When you do theater

Your job is to look at everything

Contrary to the way

Other people are looking at it

So most people saw this sad scene with all these actors

And I saw the best cast ever assembled

Maybe that explains why I later became a director

Oh, and Sarah

Sarah was a big part of that too

She always told me I was too big of a bitch

To just boss around myself

I said, ‘Same to you, honey.’

That was Sarah

The best bitch I ever knew