Another Little Dalliance

Well hello…

Back for another little dalliance, I see

I see you got my note

Regarding the location

Of our little…

…liason

You must be delighted

That we no longer have to enjoy our carnal delights

In my dorm room on campus

While from the bunk underneath us

My roommate calls out suggestions

Now, we have this luscious apartment

All to ourselves

Well…the bedroom anyway

I do share the rest of the place

With five other men

But that’s why doors are made

To both open

…And close

Hahaha would you like me to take off my pants?

I’m wearing underwear

Imported from Greece

They’re made out of baby sheep’s wool

And they keep me in a constant state

Of almost painful arousal

But that’s neither here nor there

Can I interest you in some half-eaten

Slightly chilled

DiGiorno’s pizza?

I’ve spelled out on your name

On every slice

Using black olives

And some mustard I found

Behind some sort of plant in the fridge

I’m afraid my roommates

Aren’t exactly the most hygienic group

Which reminds me

I’m afraid we won’t be able to make love in the shower

As I had promised

Until we figure out whether the squirrel in the tub

Is rabid or not

We call him Scooter

Would you like to help me push the mattress up against the far wall?

Tonight is Thursday

And that means the room next to mine

Will be used for a role-playing game

Entitled ‘The Trolls of Erotica’

You met my roommate Tobey, didn’t you?

He’s the one who made you answer three riddles

And remove your bra

Before you could enter the apartment

He is a quirky fellow

Now, enough chitchat

Let’s give in to the desires

That plague our weary souls

Just don’t give in near the window

The man across the street

Has his telescope pointed right at this room

He likes to dress up like Olivia Newton-John

From the ‘Physical’ video

And smoke long cigarettes

Like Audrey Hepburn in ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’

But other than that, he’s harmless

I have curtains to put up

But my mom hasn’t finished washing them yet

So for now

We’ll just have to be discreet

Not as far as sound, of course

Feel free to wail and moan

As loud as you like

To be honest, it’s really the only way

To avoid hearing the trolls in the next room

Sing their fertility song

Now, are we ready to commence?

Ah, you’re weeping

The adventure begins