Ellipses

Brit?

Brit, it's me.

No, the date's over.

Yeah, yeah, yeah
Sushi, movie, we made out twice
He got some boob
But listen!

We've been, like, texting

You know, like, when you have a really good date
Like a giddy-oh-my-god-you're-grabbing-my-boob-and-I'm-totally-okay-with-it date
And you feel like it's totally okay
To do an immediate post-date text

Well, I did

And he texted back

And he used

Ellipses

Ellipses, you know
The dot dot dot

Like, I said--'I had a really good time tonight smiley face'

And he texted back--'I did too...dot dot dot.'

What do you mean so what?

The dot dot dot means uncertainty
The dot dot dot means 'except I really didn't'
The dot dot dot means I think you're a whore for letting me grab your boob
As soon as we ordered appetizers

He DOT DOT DOTTED ME, BRIT!

What do you mean
He uses those all the time?

Like in everyday life?

BRIT!

Why would you fix me up with a guy
Who uses ellipses?

Do you know what that does to a person?

You might as well have set me with up
With the guy who invented Morse Code!

Listen to these texts!

'You're cool too dot dot dot'
'Sure, we can hang out again dot dot dot'
'I guess three weeks is enough time to wait before you move in with someone dot dot dot'

I feel like I'm walking through a minefield here!

And what's worse is that he might really like me
And I can't even tell!

I'd rather be flat-out rejected
Instead of strung along
On a series
Of tiny little dots!

I mean, is he going to be like this
Forever?

Is he going to look at me one day and say--

'I love you dot dot dot?'

This is the worst thing that has ever happened
In the history of dating

This is right underneath whoever said--

'Oh don't worry about Henry, Anne.  I'm sure he's over that whole beheading thing.'

I have to go, Brit

No, I don't blame you--

--dot dot dot

I'm kidding
I'm kidding

I'll call you tomorrow

I have to go fire up google

I need to know how to use a semi-colon