Beth Ann in the Garden of Eden

"Beth Ann?"
"God?"
"Yes, Beth Ann."
"Oh heyyyyy, what's up?"
"Well, there actually is no 'up' up here."
"That sucks."
"Not really."
"Ohhh yeah, you must get an awesome tan."
"Well, I--never mind.  Look, I need to talk to you about the tree."
"Ohhh, the fruit tree?"
"Yes."
"What about it?"
"Did you eat from it?"
"Uh, yeah.  I was starving.  You may think this place is Paradise, but without a Whole Foods, I'd say it's a little less than perfect."
"Beth Ann--"
"Although the squirrels are cute."
"Beth Ann!"
"Yes?"
"You're not supposed to eat from the tree."
"No, you told me I couldn't eat from the tree by the waterfall."
"That's an oak tree, Beth Ann.  There isn't anything to eat on an oak tree."
"I know!  That's why it was so easy to follow your instructions."
"Beth Ann, you got the wrong tree."
"Ohhh, did I?  That sucks.  I'm sorry."
"What did you eat off the tree?"
"A strawberry."
"A what?"
"A strawberry."
"Beth Ann, strawberries don't grow on trees."
"Hey, you're the one who made the trees."
"Beth Ann, I have to expel you from the Garden."
"Why?"
"Because you're not allowed to eat from the tree."
"But I was hungry!"
"You could have eaten from other trees!"
"You just said you didn't want me eating from the oak tree!"
"Beth Ann, I already expelled Adam and Eve from the garden because they ate from the tree."
"I thought it was because they were walking around naked?"
"No, I didn't mind that."
"Ew, you didn't mind them walking around naked?"
"Beth Ann--"
"But you minded them eating fruit?  You have weird rules, Mr. God."
"I don't--first of all--okay, there's no Mr. and--"
"By the way, I renamed the llamas.  They're called Doodles now."
"Okay, you can't rename the animals."
"Why not?  They're mine now."
"They're not yours.  They don't belong to you."
"Because you're not expelling me?"
"No, they never belonged to you."
"Did the tree I can't eat from belong to me?"
"No."
"So it's your tree?"
"Well--"
"So I can't eat from it because it's your tree?"
"I--"
"So you don't know how to share?"
"Beth Ann..."
"So nobody ever taught you how to share?"
"Beth Ann."
"You know, sharing is a virtue."
"I know sharing is a virtue, Beth Ann."
"And yet, you don't want to share your strawberries."
"They're not strawberries!"
"So why is it a big deal if I eat them then?"
"It's--I--"
"Can't we just call this an honest mistake then?"
"FINE!"

. . . . .

"By the way, I'm still hungry."
"KILL ONE OF THE DOODLES AND EAT IT!"

. . . . .

"Wow, you really are a blood-thirsty God."