Brunch (After Godzilla)

Well the house is a mess
It's a house
It's...
I can't even talk about it

Brand new upholstery
On my sofa
Had it done
Enjoyed it for one day

What happens?

A giant lizard attacks the city
Steps right on top of my brownstone
Now, forget it
The upholstery?
Please

I don't even want to talk about it

Melissa's boyfriend?
The one I didn't like?
He got eaten
Eaten up
I'm not kidding

She's devastated
I mean, she loved the sofa
But we can get another sofa
There's no getting another boy
Like the one she was dating
They don't make freaks like that anymore

God, I shouldn't speak ill of the dead
But all there are nowadays are dead people
So who are you supposed to talk about anymore?

My brother-in-law?
He was on the subway car
That lizard threw into the East River
My sister keeps saying--

'He knew how to swim! He was a swimmer in high school!'

Like that makes a difference
Like any day now
He's going to paddle onto the docks
Looking refreshed
Like he just did a few laps
Around the pool at the Y or something

He had to ride the subway
Man had more money than God
And he rides the subway
'To stay in touch with his roots'
That's what my sister says

What roots?
What is he an oak tree?
Does he give money to the poor?
No, he just rides around with them
Like they're going to thank him for it
Now he's swimming along in the river
Right alongside them
Some roots

We've been staying with my sister
The lizard only torched her house
It didn't completely destroy it
Still, all the food tastes like charcoal
It might be her cooking
Who knows?

I shouldn't say that
She's grieving
Except she's not
Because Darren's not dead
Because he's doing laps in the river

God, I'm horrible
I'm a horrible person
I really am

But what can you do, right?
You can't do anything
Giant lizard attacks your city
You move on with life

That's all you can do
We're all just doing
What we can do