This Is My House

I don't have a sofa yet
I don't have chairs
I don't have bookshelves
I don't have a cat
I don't even have a coffee table

I don't have a finished garage
I don't have a guest bedroom
I don't have any fixtures
I don't have any idea

What I'm going to do

I'm going to sit in a patch of light
Coming through my window
And tell myself
That's all that I need

Just a window to look out
That the light can come through
To wake me up every morning
And be okay not being
Next to you

All I need is a pillow
And a permanent notion
That I'm not such a failure
As long as I have a place in this world

And it doesn't need appliances
And it doesn't need ottomans
And it doesn't need antiques
Or a cherry oak desk

This mess of a life
Just got cleaned up
Nice and tidy

Cause now I have closets
I can shove my shit into
Whereas before
I just had you
To unload it into

But this is the place
Where I can finally solidify
Establish foundation
And learn to grow wise

This is my house
This is where it's okay
To let myself go
Or let myself miss you

I didn't think
I'd ever have a place
Without you

I didn't think
This little girl
Would get so smart

And I don't need you to knock
On my brand new front door
And say you'll come back
As long as I'm say I was wrong

This is my house
Do you hear me?

THIS IS MY HOUSE

I'm standing on my floors
I'm standing under my ceiling
I'm standing in a patch of light
Where there was darkness before

This was my dream
That used to be you
Soon as I got a new dream
That's when the dream
Finally came true

These are windows
These are my walls
This is all that I wanted
This is all
This is all of it

Notice the yard
Where my nieces can play in
Notice the porch
Where I can sit in the summer
Notice the girl
That you left in September

Notice the things
You never noticed before
More than a memory
More than a bad memory

These things are real
These walls are sturdy
Nothing's going to come falling down
On me anymore

Now I've got a furnace
A heat deep inside me
That'll keep me going
On the nights when it's cold

I'm older now
But I'm not old
I'm better now
But I'm not whole

I still have to fill this house
With love and noise and furniture
I've got work to do
I'll be cleaning for years

But aside from that
This is my house
God, isn't that something to say?
To hear it
Come out of my mouth

This is my house

And when I signed that deed
When the deal was settled
I knew you were gone
For real this time

Because there was my name
And it wasn't attached
To yours or some exes
Or my father's
Or my mother's
Or anybody's

No

This is my house
This is where I live
This is the home
Of a damn good woman

That you left
You left
You left me and thought
That my walls would come falling down
And they did

But hey, look at that
But I found four more

I found a place
I found a patio
I found 28 Oak Park
I found my house

This is my house

Now if you'll excuse me
I have unpacking to do