In the Morning

There's a certain light
Taking 3am by storm
To be specific

In prolific hours of darkness
Comes a moment where you think
Everything I've done is powerful
Everything I've done is meaningless
And you hit your head

And you hit your head on the pillow
When it strikes you
The pillow
And epiphany
And a moment
In the morning

Acts of yearning
Phone calls to lovers
You used to hate

Hookups, turn-downs
Rejects, dates
In the morning

And you
At the 3am close of the day
When things begin
And people die
And parties end
At 3am
In the morning

And we weep for friends
That we never knew we missed until
We got the check, we pay the bill
In the morning

At a fever pitch
When the words won't stop
And the work is good
And the drinks are strong
And the sex is full
In the morning

But his eyes are dry
And his breath is soft
I gain a sense of understanding
By him
In the morning

I can see the things that have laid on him
While I lay on him
While I pray by him
In the morning

Like apple pie
Like Sunday brunch
A break-up note
An eerie hunch
In the morning

A repetitive stance
A ballroom dance
A rhyming game
The sound of his name
In the morning

It's the time I click on news and culture
It's the time I'm brave and chickenshit
It's 3am, I can confront
It's 4am, I'm a broken man
In the morning

And I mourn for who I used to be
I'm better now, but imagining him
Makes me moan and mourn
And groan and mourn
In the morning

So I bash myself against his love
And ask if I am worthy of
This precious thing he throws at me
See if it sticks
See what will be
In the morning

Tomorrow is a better day
Tomorrow I'll be a hero
A superstar
A song lyric
A cliche
A monk
A monkey
A money sign
A lover
A state of mind
In the morning

But most of all
What comes and goes
Are the fears that run
When they see
That he's still there
As the 3am hour rolls by
And he just keeps on lying
Where others lied
In the morning