Snakebit (I Deal With It)

I got snakebit
By an asp five foot ten
Feet and inches
And many more grinches
Have spoiled my Christmases
Than I care to remember

But when I'm asked how
I plan to suck the poison out
Or rather, have someone do it for me
I say I don't let people do things for me
I won't commit an answer
Other than 'I'll deal with it'

I'll let it sit inside me
Override my system
Make me wither
Pale and bitter
Forget that I could be better
I'm not a betting man
But I bet "better" would be a no-show
And what do you know
I was right

I got terrified
High-flying crashed
Into an expectantly morose
Frame of mind
With the kind of emotions
I'm comfortable with

You ask if I think
I'll fly again
Quick get your pen
Jot down my cure
When the engines quit
Will I be okay?
No

But I'll deal with it

I'll deal with the trappings
Of napping to solve noisy problems
That won't let me sleep
I'll keep pessimism close by
On a nightstand next to Nyquil
And uppers, an alarm clock, and bottled water

No bourbon for me
This ain't New Orleans
I have my own flood to deal with
To drown in, but sleep
Sleep till the sheep
Are too numerous to count
And then switch to pills
Hope the dullness
Was what was prescribed
That it won't interfere with the booze you imbibed
But you wouldn't bring home
Cause that was the bribe

Another promise kept legit
See? Look at that
Responsible progression
I'm dealing with it

I'm dealing with family affairs
So rare to behold
Even in the eyes
Of the most wide-eyed headshrinker
A broken blinker could guide you better
Than Dr. Heather and her 88 Solutions
Most absoutions that won't get you anywhere
With Dad when he drinks or with Mom when she's crazed
The days of writing in diaries have all been erased

I'm dealing with tv
And culture and lit classes
Where mouths with tits
Decide they have opinions
On how Virginia Woolf should have lived

I'm dealing with filth
Degradation and charm
In equal proportions
I alarm my colleagues
With dissertations on Dr. Seuss
I loose them in the intro
And never get them back

I'm dealing with so many things
That it's hard to keep track
But I deal and when I don't
I backtrack to a place
Where I can cuddle in and huddle down
Or ride through town screaming
My dreams reaching into novels
That would make Fear and Loathing
Look like Cat and the Hat
And that is why I laugh
When they suggest advice
On my behalf

Giving advice is an addiction
Nobody can quit
As for taking it
I quit that long ago
When the snake bit
But that doesn't mean
I'm not dealing with it

Going crazy is optional
And it's not a bad option
People tell you A, B, and C
But they don't say 'Choose all'
So when you fall you're confused
At exactly which you overdid
Like a scared little kid lost in a department store
Standing on the cosmetics floor
Surrounded by beauty but all of it strange
The changes you see coming over suburban housewives
Before they rush home to surprise husbands who aren't there
And you see your mother at the counter
Today she was happy
She did up her hair

She'll go home and bake
Then she'll go right to bed
Never say hello or how was your day
Some would cry over this
But I've found a way to replay the scene
Where everything turns out fine
We all have our mechanisms
This one is mine

A family dinner
With chitchat
And eggrolls
And laughs
All offered on your behalf
Those of you who pity
And ponder what I will do

Here's what I'll do
I'll deal with it

I'll say it
And live it
And make it my mantra
I'll get cross-legged and sit
Chanting this bullshit

I'll deal with it

And if being in my life
Is something you'd like to do
Then you need to deal with it
The question is

Can you?