Melinda's Slideshow

-- I wanted to write a tie-in to "The Impossibility of Forgiveness" that would have a completely different style to it, and that could even be a bit funny. I also wanted to work in Amelia from "Amelia in Italy" since I want to work on a larger piece with her in it. And also because, it's fun to have characters cross over. --

"Melinda's Slide Show"

This was Bombay
This was where we lived in Bombay
During the time
When Stephen was writing his book
His fiction book
On life in South Africa

I asked him
Why we were living in Bombay
So that he could write a book on South Africa
Shouldn’t we be living in South Africa?

He asked me
If I was crazy
You can’t live in South Africa
He said
People don’t actually
Live
In South Africa

We could be killed
After all

I didn’t really see the difference
Between the dangers of South Africa
And the dangers of Bombay
Except for the fact
That Bombay’s dangers
Seemed a little more quaint
And proper
Because of the British influence

Every morning
When I went on my walk
I used to step over a man
Who I called Wally
That had one eye and no legs
And rolled around on a dolly cart
Begging me for change

I never carry change on me
Not even when we lived in America
So I used to apologize
And he used to spit on me
Or he’d try
But the spit would never get very far
And I’d just keep walking

It takes a lot to disturb me

I remember when my sister
Lily
Came to visit
She got upset by everything
I introduced her to Wally
He spit on her
And this time he managed to hit his target
She screamed like boiling oil had been poured on her
I had to slap her to get her to calm down

She went back to her hotel
Got into bed
And didn’t leave until the day her plane left
To me
It was such a fuss over nothing
Over spit
Everybody has spit
What’s the worse that can happen
If spit touches you
But then again
I never actually got hit with the spit
So who am I to judge?

Next slide

This is when Stephen ran with the bulls
Not in Spain
We couldn’t get to Spain for the bull-run
So instead
We had to go to Belgium
I wasn’t even aware they had bull-runs in Belgium
But they do
The bulls are just much more lax
Which is a blessing in disguise
If you husband decides he wants to run with the bulls
But refuses to train for it
So that what actually happens is
He gets thrown up in the air
When a bull’s head collides with him
Lands on that bull
Totally unconscious
And by some miracle
Rides the bull for four miles
Before getting tossed off
Into a ditch
Near some city
Whose name I can’t pronounce

He was doing all this
Because he wanted a character in his novel
Entitled
At that time

‘Dangerous Melody
A Tale of South Africa
And Lust’

(She rolls her eyes.)

He wanted that character
To be a bullfighter

I pointed out to him
That not only is bullfighting
Not involved
In bull-running
But that he didn’t put up much a fight
When the bull nearly impaled him
And then dumped him into a ditch
Full of sewer water

But Stephen called it

‘Great firsthand material’

And sat in front of a typewriter
For four days
Drinking nothing but coffee
And eating tiny pretzels
Smelling like a dead person
Even after I sprayed him twice
With Febreeze
That I had brought with me
From home

Next slide

This was when we went to Italy
To see my friend Amelia
Who had just lost her husband

We got into a huge fight
As we usually do
Over what pizza place
We wanted to eat in

I prefer this little place
On an island
That you have to take a ferry to get to
Because they put these olives on their pizza
And I don’t know where they get these olives
But they taste like pomegranates
I swear to you
Like olive-y pomengranates
They’re delicious

Amelia wanted to go
To the only Pizza Hut
In Rome
And I refused
Called her a tacky tourist
And stormed off

Ever since her husband died
She’s lost her sense of adventure
That’s what I think anyway
If Stephen died
I’d get more adventurous
I would actually have gone to South Africa
I’m an ugly fat white woman
Who wears large, bawdy earrings
And carries a handgun

Who would dare mess with me?

Next slide

This was when we lived in Brazil
Two days after this was taken
I walked right into an orgy
I kid you not
I was minding my own business
Cut through a side street
And suddenly I was in the middle
Of a throng of naked bodies
Covered in some sort of tomato paste

At first
I was more upset
About my outfit getting stained
Than the nudity and sexual acts
Going on all around me
But as soon as I felt someone grab my breast
I took out my handgun
And fired into the air at will
Until there was a path cleared for me

When I got home
I told Stephen what had happened
He told me it was a miracle I wasn’t arrested
He’s always worried about getting arrested
As if we’re not American
As if there aren’t embassies
If that sort of thing happens
He saw Midnight Express
When he was younger
And he’s never gotten over it
We were stopped by the police
When we lived in Uzbekistan
And Stephen started crying
Begging not to be thrown in a Turkish prison

I had picked up a little of the native tongue
So I told the officers
That I was traveling with my deranged brother
And to please excuse him
Since ‘Turkish Prison’ was the name of his dog when he was young
And that it had been run over by a milk truck

I would have come up with something better
But when the only words you know are
Dog
Young
Deranged
And Milk Truck
Your options are limited

Next slide

Oh

Well

This

Uh

This is…

Are there any…

Never mind

It’s fine

No

Really

It’s fine

This is that wall in Jersualem
Where you pray
Where you
Put prayers
In the wall
In the hopes of…

Them being answered
I suppose

This was where we prayed
For Olivia
That she’s…
That she would be
At peace

Of course we also prayed
For Michael
For Annabelle
For Mack
For the parents
Especially Beth
As she’s having such a hard time

I prayed for forgiveness
From Amelia
For snapping at her
We always fight
But usually it’s play fighting
This was a real fight
But I knew she understood
I was…
I wanted that pizza
I wanted the pizza with the olives
That Olivia used to like so much

Stephen said he prayed for Paul
I hadn’t
But I do now
I’ve…
I’ve reached a point
Where I can do that

Maybe it’s because of how much I drink now
Maybe it’s because I can’t say I haven’t…
Sometimes I won’t have Stephen come get me
Because I’m ashamed
So I take backroads
And hope nobody’s on them
After what happened to Olivia
I know that’s downright insane
But what are the odds of lighting striking twice?

When Paul hit the car
With the kids in it
With Olivia in the back
She was wearing the shirt I bought her in Milan
So we couldn’t back to Milan
Because if I saw that shirt
Even though the odds of seeing it…

I didn’t want to take that chance

I wrote something on a piece of paper
And put it in the wall
But I didn’t tell Stephen
What it said
It asked for home
It asked for the allowance
To go home
To be able
To feel home again

I was so sick of traveling at that point
I was so sick of stepping over sick people
And not feeling anything about that
I was sick of foreign food
I wanted French fries from Joe’s
Downtown
Where Olivia and I used to go
After we’d go shopping

I wanted to feel at peace
In my own skin
And I didn’t want to run anymore
And I knew Stephen was never going to finish
That ridiculous book
And that not finishing it
Was sort of the point

He just wanted something
He could say he was dedicating
To Olivia
Something he was doing
In her honor

I suppose that’s noble
At least he was being productive

Well

Next slide

This was the sunset
On a hill
I don’t remember where
But it’s pretty
Isn’t it?

It’s hard to be upset
On a hill
At that time of day
Feeling like you’ve been given
Something very precious

I sat on that hill
By myself
Stephen was at the hotel
Still typing away

But I didn’t feel alone
And I wasn’t thinking
About where we were going next
I felt like my prayer had been answered
That I had found home

And I suppose
If home is the sunset
If home is the quiet you experience
When a day is coming to a close
Another day on the horizon
If home is being able to recognize
That there’s still something left
That can make you feel awe
That all it has to be
Is the knowledge
That you can always have this
As long as you can make it
Through the day

Than home can be anywhere

Funny though
I don’t remember taking a picture
Of that sunset

Well…

Next slide