A Religious Experience

I had a religious experience
I did not see Jesus or Buddha
I did not see the face of a saint
Or the Virgin Mary
In a crust of bread
On top of a diner counter
Not even in a dream

But I had religious experience

I had a tingling start in my head
Flow down my arms
Knew it wasn't a heart attack
And therefore jumped for joy
Which lead to staying up in the air
For five solid minutes
While others walked down on the ground below me
Not realizing that I was even there

You want to know how?
You want to know where it came from?
Where I was when I was struck?

I'll tell you

I met a woman
I met a good woman
And I married her
In a rush job wedding
With two friends and a stranger
That was waiting to get married himself
But his girl never showed up
Mine did

And I never stopped feeling appreciative

We had a child
Every day at look at him
And see that I've done something
That I can't take back
That I really can't take back
Isn't that glorious?

Today I was walking down the street
And I felt this incredible sensation
The tingling
Then the levitating
Finally I was up so high
I started to fear coming down
And that's when it ended

That's when it left me
When the fear of coming down
Took away the joy of being up

I came home
And my wife was walking around
Talking to her girl friend on the phone
And I love my wife
And I love her girl friend
In a very platonic way of course
And my son ran into the next room
And I could hear him turn on the television
And I loved him so much it felt like another fake heart attack
But I didn't lift up this time
Because I was scared

I was scared he was going to become dumb
From watching so much television
I was scared the television was going to fall on his head
I was scared a girl was going to break his heart
And make him cynical like his mom made his dad cynical
Once upon a time

I was scared he was going to choke on a toy
Even though he was too big
To put toys in his mouth

I was scared he was going to drown at the beach
Even though we lived in the Midwest at the time
I was scared of the Midwest too

At that moment I felt the heart attack go away
I was scared of everything that could happen to him
And my fear got in the way of my just loving him
In that moment, I knew the war wasn't keeping my son safe
But holding my son up without worrying I was going to let him down

My wife turned to me
And she mouthed
'It's perfect'
And I said
'Huh?'
And she told her girlfriend she'd call her back
She hung up the phone

'I'm pregnant'

And I had a religious experience
The tingling
The panic
The joy
The lifting
The fear
The fighting of the fear

I knew it'd always be about fighting the fear
And I knew that religion gives that to people sometimes
The feeling like they can fight anything
Because they believe in something bigger than them

I believe in how much I love my wife and my son
And how much I'll love that new baby
A new baby whose going to live a lot longer than I am
Whose going to be so much bigger in this universe
And leave so much more of an impact
Than I ever could

I believe in that now
That's what the experience did for me

But it took something away too
It took away the idea that I only have to worry about me
That I can just watch out for myself
And everything will be okay

I thought I understood it before then
But I didn't really
Until I got lifted up
And looked down
And saw what it was
I had to take care of in this world