Burn the Dress

Listen to me

Burn the dress

I am your sister
I love you
I will support you in whatever you do
But if you don't burn that dress
I will slap you until I hear some sense knocked loose

I don't care if you keep his photographs
I don't care if you keep the engagement ring
I don't even care if you keep the love letters
But Jennifer, you better
burn
that
dress

Because every time you wear it
You'll remember where you were the first time you wore it
When you first met him
And he was sweet
And he was charming
And he ordered wine and didn't mispronounce the name of it

You'll slip into that dress
And you'll smell the perfume you wore that night
Trust me, you will
You'll smell the perfume, and you'll feel the fabric
And you'll want him back
That dress will transport you back to a time
When he wasn't a prick
Who showed up at a wedding
Only to tell you that he got his ex-girlfriend pregnant

And that was a naive time, Jennifer
That was a time of ignorance and darkness
Now, you live in an enlightened time
A sadder time? Perhaps
But nonetheless, a time of glorious intelligence

You burn that dress
In your backyard
And when you're done
You step on the ashes
Pee on them if you have the guts to

Hell, I'm pee on them

Then stick a cross in the ground
And leave a marker
Cardboard, whatever
That says--

Here lies that dress
That made me feel sexy
That made me feel confident
That I wouldn't fall in love with the wrong man
Here lies a deceptive dress

Good riddance

Feeling yourself want to back out?

Fine

Put on the old sweater
The one you wore when he didn't show up
On Valentine's Day

Put on the other dress
The one you wore on your birthday
When he called you selfish and stormed out on you

Put on the shoes you threw at him
When you found out that he cheated
THE FIRST TIME

Put on a real friend, Jennifer
Because believe me
That dress
That dress is not your friend

I am your sister, Jennifer
I am your sister and I am your friend
And that dress was the beginning of the end
Before the end even began

Who cares if I'm not making sense?

Stop crying
Get out of the bathtub
Put down the wineglass
And go get some matches

You and I are going to have a bonfire

And then we'll go buy you a new dress
A prettier dress
But one with harder fabric
One that keeps you alert
One that isn't so revealing
That lets you hold onto something of yourself
Rather than exposing everything about you
Within a mere glance

We're going to burn that dress
And you're going to see that silly girl you were
Go right up in smoke
And you can mourn for her if you like
But once you're done
You'll feel better

I promise

Jennifer, look at me
Look at your sister
Don't look at the tiles on the bathroom wall
They won't help

Look at me

I love you
I'm here
He's gone
Good riddance

Burn
The
Dress

Say it with me

Burn
The
Dress

Say it while you're getting it off the hanger
Say it while you're taking it out to the yard
Saying it while the flames slip around it
And drag it into the earth

Say it over and over
And you'll be okay

Do you believe me?
It doesn't matter
You're doing it anyway

That man only loved you in that dress
The right man is going to love you in anything
He's going to love you in the red dress
And the old sweater
And a burlap sack

The prick only loved you in that dress
So you take that love
And you do with it what I did with him

.....

Never mind
Never mind, it doesn't matter
It doesn't matter, Jennifer
Who knows where he is?
Does it matter?
It doesn't

I AM YOUR SISTER!

I stopped playing with matches years ago
Right around when Oliver left
Just like your prick did
They all leave
And once they do
Who cares if you can't find them?

Now I just light things once in awhile
A piece of paper
A dinner menu from a place we used to get take-out from
Oliver and I
Our wedding album
Things like that

But I don't do it for the reasons I used to
And I keep telling you
I wasn't the one who lit the toolshed on fire
That was Daddy smoking back there again
Not that it matters

Get the dress
Get the dress, Jennifer
Or so help me I'll burn the whole closet
Just to get to the dress

And you know I'll do it

.....

Good girl
That's my good girl
My little sister

It's always so much easier
When you let me take care of you