Saturday, May 23, 2009

The Playwright and The Persona

The playwright is twenty-three years old

Twenty-four in July

The persona doesn’t feel like letting go of twenty-two

He didn’t think that he minded aging

Until he hit twenty-three

And found that he wasn’t ready to go there yet

The persona remains twenty-two

So the playwright only writes about twenty-two year olds

Who show hints of a twenty-third year

Like gray hair’s on a woman’s dyed head

The playwright is gay and passive

The persona is gay and militant

The persona feels strongly about gay marriage, gay rights, and gay sex

The playwright doesn’t bother to discuss these things with otherse

The persona throws them in the face of everyone he meets

The playwright would like to write about other things

But the persona says other things have already been written about

And that it doesn’t want to deal with anything but being gay in today’s society

This is a struggle that the two deal with almost constantly

The playwright is a good person

He would never raise his voice

Yell, argue, confront, attack

He is charitable, sincere, friendly

People like the playwright

They invite him to parties

They take him on dates

They embrace him

The persona doesn’t give a fuck about anyone

He likes to shake things up

He likes making people uncomfortable

Making them think about why they do what they do

And why they’re stupid for doing it

He is hypocritical, complex, diverse in personality

People are intimidated by him

They scorn him

They talk about him though

And that’s exactly what he wants

When they see the persona coming, they cross the street

And again, the persona couldn’t care less

If the playwright were a sport, he would be basketball

If the person were a sport, he would be boxing or hockey

Something full contact

If the playwright were to go on vacation, he would go somewhere quiet

The persona would go to Vegas and have lots of sex—NSA

And not feel guilty about it.

The playwright bites his nails.

The persona gives people eating disorders.

The playwright enjoys pancakes.

The persona wants fresh tortellini with well-blended tomato sauce

The playwright laughs at Knock, Knock jokes.

The persona laughs when people fall and when someone he doesn’t like ends up with a terminal disease.

The playwright wouldn’t hurt a fly

Whereas the persona has often thought of murdering everyone he comes into contact with

The playwright reads for pleasure

Whereas the persona finds pleasure in telling small children their parents are Republicans, and therefore are the reason Hepatitis exists.

He figures by the time the children realize this doesn’t make sense, they will already have an instilled fear of conservative thought.

The playwright likes Donald Margulies and Conor McPherson.

The persona likes Nicky Silver and Mac Wellman.

The playwright’s favorite t.v. show is Grey’s Anatomy.

The persona thinks watching television is like throwing up on an orphan.

The playwright is inspired by the mere flow of conscious ideas.

The persona wants to piss people off—so he exists.

The playwright wants people to consider him intelligent.

The persona thinks intelligence is subjective.

The playwright one day hopes to make a career in the theater.

The persona wants to be a badass who hitchhikes cross country and eats bad food at diners in places like Tulsa and Cheyenne.

The playwright can’t get laid.

The persona can’t stop getting laid.

The playwright has a family.

The persona has friends.

The playwright has pets.

The persona would forget he had them if he had them and they would die of neglect.

The playwright has demons.

The persona is the accumulation of those demons come to life.

The playwright has days when he feels like a failure.

The persona believes the very fact that he is—signifies success of some kind.

The playwright can’t use chopsticks.

The persona speaks Japanese and Latin, when it’s called for.

The playwright feels uncomfortable dealing with his past.

The persona lives that past every day.

The playwright finds guilt interesting.

The persona wears gloves to hide the blood on his hands.

The playwright will eat a bagel if he’s hungry.

The persona will roast a turkey.

The playwright will pace the floor when he’s nervous.

The persona will take legal and illegal drugs for it.

The playwright will toy with the idea of manipulation.

The persona’s nickname in high school was “Puppet Master.”

The playwright is a man.

The persona is a man.

The playwright is frustrated.

The persona is frustrated.

The playwright finds joy every day, if only briefly.

The persona takes that joy and from it creates art.

The playwright is educated.

The persona is wise.

The playwright references famous quotations.

The persona speaks with his own voice and his own words.

The playwright has known love and desperation.

The persona is in love only with his own desperation.

The playwright envies the persona for his strength.

The persona wishes that strength could solidify.

The playwright lives through his persona.

The persona lives and wonders what he’s living for.

The playwright jots down a monologue on his break at work.

The persona finds what the playwright is trying to say.

And he says it.

And he adds the pauses.

The measures.

The tempo.

The breathing.

The intention.

And the playwright watches and thinks.

Wow, I wish I could do that.

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