Call Me When You're Dead

Hello?

Who's this?

Bill?

Bill who?

Oh that Bill

Hi Bill

What the hell do you want?

What?

Who?

Who died?

Matt?

Jesus Christ, not Matt.

Wait, which Matt?

Matt Davis or Matt Plimpton?

Matt Plimpton?

I don't remember him.

But he's dead?

Well, that's too bad.

What happened to Matt Davis?

He is? Tampa?

I'll have to call him.

...I don't think I have his number.

No, never mind. I'll get it another day.

Who has time to call?

What?

Cancer?

Who?

Mary Ann?

Jesus Christ.

Wait, isn't she dead?

She's not dead?

Not yet?

But cancer?

Jesus Christ.

When's she going to die?

What do you mean they don't know?

How long did they give her?

Uh huh.

I should call her.

No, not today. I don't have time today.

If you talk to her, tell her I'll call.

Well don't tell her today. Tell her some other day.

Then tell me, and I'll call.

But not today. I'm busy today.

Are you sure she's not dead?

Okay, fine.

Who?

Peter?

Which Peter?

Peter Ellis? Don't know him.

I don't.

Who?

Is he the one with sports car?

Then I don't know him.

What?

Oh wait, yeah.

I worked with Peter Ellis--thirty-five years.

He died?

Jesus Christ.

They're dropping like flies.

When's the funeral?

Thursday? I can't go Thursday.

Are you sure it's not Friday? I could go Friday.

Never mind.

I'll call.

Not today. I'll call Friday.

I can't call Thursday.

Tell his wife I'll--

What?

No wife.

He got kids?

No kids?

So who the hell am I calling?

Nephew?

Who's his nephew?

John who?

Never heard of him.

I'll call Friday.

How you been? Still sick?

You been to a doctor?

What did they say?

Are you dying?

Oh.

So what are you complaining about?

Call me when you're dead.

Then you can complain.

Just don't call me on Thursday.

I'm busy on Thursday.

Call Friday, all right?

All right.

Good-bye.