Do I Look Like a Fag?

Question

Do I look like a fag?

By looking at me have you made certain determinations?
Predictions of who I am,
Who I love,
What I want
From you and others
And what my life is like?

Do I look like someone who might dance flamboyantly with no shirt on?
Or perhaps catch some sexually transmitted disease in a seedy back alley from an off-leave sailor?
Maybe host fabulous dinner parties with all my equally fag-ish friends?

Is your vision of me compiled from brief and half-assed viewings of
Philadelphia
The Band Played On
And The Birdcage?

Do you think you understand me because of what
Will and Grace
Have told you?

Do I look like someone who can be easily beaten?
Made fun of?
Stereotyped?

Or do I look safe?
Not to be feared
Or taken seriously in any way

Do I look like a fairy?
Are my clothes sparkly?
Did someone pour glitter on me and not make me aware of it?
Do I seem like I hide a magic wand in my pocket?
Can I turn wooden boys into real boys?
(I actually tried that with my last boyfriend)

Do I look like a queer?
Do you think I walk around with picket signs
That say "Let Me Marry" and/or "I'm As Good as You"
Do you think I'm militant?
Manipulative?
Anti-religion?
Liberal?
Bi?

Do I look like a fag?

Because today when someone yelled

Fag

At me

That was what I wondered first

Was the way I did my hair a little "too gay"?
Was my walk a little on the brisk side
Like a career woman on the move?
Or perhaps my clothes were telling
Telling you that I
Was someone
You could fuck with
With no problem at all

And for a second
I worried

I thought to myself
Better not do
Whatever it is you did
To get that kind of attention

And then I realized
Whatever it is that made you
Decide
That I
Looked like a fag
Is Nothing
That I
Have any control over

If I walk briskly it's because I have somewhere to go
I have a life that is constantly in flux
I have a purpose

If my clothes seem neat, too neat maybe, or too...gay?
Is that really something I should try to tone down?
Have you noticed straight guys are dressing too neat lately too?
Your kind is picking up alternative trends from my friends
It isn't the other way around

And if I seem like somebody you can fuck with
Then maybe next time you decide to yell something out
You should stick around and see what happens
Deliver your statement
Fag
And then stand there
Like, you know, not a coward
But a man
In other words
What you presume I'm not

Stand there and own that word
Because you can't own a word from a passing car

That's my observation anyway

Because although I may not have anything clever to yell back
And I may not believe in violence, so hurting you would not be an option
Though it may be true that I won't call the police on you
Or the A.C.L.U.
Or the lesbians at G.L.A.A.D.
Or my mom
I would still like you to stand there and say it

Because I would like to see the expression on your face
When you see the expression on mine
As I walk right by you
Briskly
With purpose
Wondering where it is you have to be
And both of us already knowing the answer is
Nowhere

And I can leave you with your expression
Your word for me
And I will watch that word fall on the ground
And think
Hm, that doesn't look familiar to me
And walk on