But He's Cute

-- I had a friend--I'm not saying who--that was terrific as a friend, but pretty much un-date-able. (Is that a word? Maybe not.) It wasn't because he wasn't nice, but more so because he was young, younger than me by a few years, and fairly immature. I feel it's only fair to mention that I though I was not aware of it at the time; I was also completely un-date-able. I used to get so frustrated, because guys I liked would like him. That's not uncommon, but what drove me nuts was that these were intelligent, practical, mature men who seemed to drawn to my friend and I mistakenly assumed that it couldn't be because they were shallow, because they were--as I said--much too "adult" for that. Now I know that you could be the next advanced lifeform and still be unable to turn down someone cute, and that, if anything, intelligent people have an easier time being shallow because they can figure out more ways to rationalize it to themselves, and that the best thing to do is let them chase after all the cute dimwits that they want, and then when they're done, they'll come back begging--and you can politely smile then walk away. A few years ago, however, I would have written this. --

"But He's Cute"

He went to see the Bratz movie
In the theater
As in, he paid
He paid
To see
The Bratz movie

And he's not twelve
He might look like he's twelve
And we'll get to that later
But he's not twelve

The Bratz movie

This is the boy you want to date
This is who you like
This is who you're saying
You connect with

You connect
With a Bratz lover

Oh, but wait
I forgot
I forgot to include
That he's cute

He went as a tambourine
For Halloween
A Halloween tambourine

Now

That's kind of interesting
Except he made it
A slutty tambourine

Granted

I've never played
In any sort of jug band
But I wasn't aware
That tambourines
Could be slutty

I wasn't aware
Tambourines
Could have any kind of sexuality
At all, in fact

It seemed like what happened
Was that he came up with an idea
For a really good costume
But couldn't bear the idea
Of not using Halloween
As a way to get laid
Rather than just have fun

A slutty tambourine
You like a slutty tambourine
More than you like me

Not only a slutty tambourine
But a really young slutty tambourine

But he's cute

Does it concern you at all
That you might be a pedophile?

I mean, you are lusting after
Someone who still gets carded
At rated-R movies

That doesn't...

Unnerve you

...in any way?

But he's cute

He says 'poke' to people
Like, he walks around
Sees people he knows
And yells out--

'POKE! Hey Derek, POKE!'

Then he laughs
Cackles, actually
Like a hen
Right before it lays the egg

But he's cute

You know
At some point
You're actually supposed to examine
The choices you make in life
And look at the things you're chasing
The people you want
And ask yourself

Does this reflect on me?
Does who I like
Reflect on the kind of person
That I am?

And if so
Am I proud of who I am
Right now?

Or do you just want to keep
Trotting out that old aphorism

He's flaky
But he's cute

He's vain
But he's cute

He's a complete moron
But he's cute

No, I'm not cute
But I was under the impression
That I could put more on the table

If I could put
Everything else I had to offer
Down the on the table
Then it would matter

If you could put down
What I had to offer
On paper
You would see
That I'm the better deal

But now I realize
It doesn't matter
What I put down

Because at the end of the day
He's cute

What's even more important--

He's cuter than me

I didn't realize that was the trump card, but...

I guess I can't judge you

He's stupid
And you like him
But I like you
I like you a lot

So what does that say about me?