Barbara Jean's Tea Party

-- General Hospital fans will appreciate this. --

"Barbara Jean's Tea Party"

First off, I did not invite Mr. Bear
Because I don't want to talk about it
But because I have to
I will have to say
I did not invite Mr. Bear
Because he's got a white rash

I heard my Mommy calling Kristy's Mommy
'White Rash' and Mr. Bear
Was given to me
By Kristy

So he probably has white rash too
And I have delicate skin
My Mommy says so
So I can't get white rash
Or it would be a to-do

SUCH a to-do

Lesly Ann isn't here
Because her eye fell out
Because she's poorly made
Insingaporely made

That's what you say
When something is shoddy
As my Daddy says
When it's made Insingaporely

Lesly Ann has the white rash as well, I'm afraid
It's going around you know
It's venereal

That's what my big sister says
She says it on the phone
When she's talking to her friends
Who I can't listen to
Because they have the white rash as well
That's what my Mommy says
And my sister talks to them
About who at her school is venereal

Apparently
It's quite common
But I don't need it
At MY tea party

These cups are antiques
They're about eight minutes old
Very precious to me
Definitely not insingaporely made

Coco the Clown
Has been thrown out of my life
Because he scares me
Because he touches little boys
I read that in the newspaper
My Mommy used to let me do my craft projects

I don't like crafts
But I fake it to make her happy
Like how she fakes for Daddy
Like what she tells her friend Aunt Monica
Who has breast cancer
Which is SUCH a to-do

My Aunt Monica is the smartest person in the world
And she's going to beat the breast cancer
With fervor and vigor and a healthy appetite of life
Which is what she told me
I think, but I can't remember
Because I was doing my crafts when she talked to me
And I didn't want to ruin my make-up
By crying, which talking about the breast cancer always does
So I played my courage for her sake
And focused on the newspaper
Which told me about kid touchers like Coco the Clown

Very scary times we live in
That's all I can say
That's all the television says either
And my Daddy
But not Aunt Monica
Because she's a fantastic warrior of joy

Would you like some more tea, Piggles?

You're the last of my friends
The last of them without white rash
And a negative view of life
Like my Uncle Ronaldo has
Which is what my Mom says
After she hugs him
And he goes in the other room

I think Aunt Monica should come to the next tea party
I'll have to calligraphiphate an invitation to her
I learned that word at pre-school
Along with the word 'tease'
Which means a girl who smiles a lot
But really hates bunnies on the inside

It's a definition
You can look it up

More tea?