But My Mom Says I'm Okay

Sometimes I think I'm crazy
But my Mom says I'm okay

Sometimes I get weary
Because people criticize
How I speak or act
Or how I interact
Or how I behave
Or how I misbehave
Or how I am
Just am, just are
Just how I circulate

But my Mom says I'm okay

Sometimes I get shouted at
For how I walk when I walk
Or how loud I am
Or how much I care
Or how I choose to care
Or to whom I give that care
Or because of the hand I'm holding
Or how tight I'm holding on
Or how pissed off I get
At these angry shouting people

But my Mom says I'm okay

Sometimes I feel less than a person
Because other people devalue me
Because they strip away my meaning
Because they challenge my humanity
Because they judge my creative limitations
Because they dissolve my commitments
Because they apply nasty words to my perception
And it's tempting not to try
To scrub those words off

But my Mom says I'm okay

Sometimes I tattoo myself
With left-over ink
From an old lover's pen

But my Mom says I'm doing fine

Sometimes I pierce myself
With brass rings
To have something holy in me
Or to showcase exterior holes
For a change

But my Mom says I'm good
She says I'm a good person
That she raised a good kid

Sometimes I let them get to me
And I crumble down
To the farthest reaches
Of the living room carpet
And anchor myself there
Not wanting to move

And she comes along
And pulls at me
With such supportive force
That the carpet rips up
And underneath it
Is a mirror
Reminding me
That I should see what she sees in me
And not try to make gospel
Out of trash

Sometimes I think I'm done
And she tells me I'm not

Sometimes I say I've fucked up
And she tells me I'll do better next time

Sometimes I beg her to cut me loose
And she tells me she'll cut off her arms first

I hear people say
That when they told their mother
Who they were
Their mother said--

'I just don't want things to hard for you'

You know what my Mom said?
She said--

'You're okay. You'll be okay.'

And nothing has been hard
Since then