Bogie in the Tropics

Do people ever just...

...Burst into tears here?

I'm not going to
Don't worry about that
I had my tear ducts sealed shut
After an unfortunate incident in high school
When the teacher made us all watch 'Breakfast at Tiffany's'

I took one look at Audrey Hepburn
And BAM!

They had to mop me up
Along with the snot
All the soccer players
Beat out of me

Do you want to hear something funny?

It only made me love the movie more
I went out, bought it
And watched it thirty-seven times
Before I took it out of my VCR

I felt like I'd been spoken to

It's sort of the opposite
Of how I feel now

Now all I feel is ignored

Not just by him

Oh, he's ignoring me
I'm aware of that
But it feels bigger than that

It feels like the universe
And everyone in it
Collectively, is ignoring me

You know those people
Who say life is a book?

I feel like mine ended twenty pages ago
And it was a lousy fucking ending
That's for sure

What is this drink?
Does this have a cute name?
What do you call it?

'A Fancy Day?'

Well, that's adorable
It really is
For something that gets you as smashed
As I am right now
To be called 'A Fancy Day'
Is just unbearably amazing

Thank you for that

I want to walk into the crystal blue water
And have jellyfish eat me alive

Then I want someone to inform him
That I have been consumed by jellyfish
Man-eating jellyfish
Who left nothing but the over-extended credit cards
In my wallet

No jellyfish is that hungry

Isn't life horrible
When the only way to make someone feel guilty
Is to die?

I live for making people feel guilty
If I can't do that
What's the point?

Can you make me another 'Fancy Day?'
I'd be hesitant to drink this much
At eleven o'clock in the morning
But since if anyone asks me what I'm doing I can say--

'I'm having "A Fancy Day!"'

I don't see why I shouldn't just keep
Knockin' em back
Do you?

Of course you don't
How else are you going to get tips
At eleven o'clock in the morning
When every normal tourist
Is out scuba-diving?

I don't want to scuba-dive
I don't want to enter a beautiful sea kingdom
Because if I do
I won't want to leave

I don't want to leave here
That's why I shouldn't have come here
It's not even because it's beautiful
It's because everything's acceptable here
Everything is 'vacational'

Getting drunk at all hours
Doing absolutely nothing
Wearing shorts

It's all kosher

. . . . .

I want him to come get me
That's why I don't want to leave
Because I want him
To come get me

And he's not coming
So I'm not leaving

It's sort of like an impasse
Except he's unaware
That he's causing the impasse

And you're causing the impasse
Because you're keeping me intoxicated
Which makes it very easy for me to sulk

I'm going to sulk endlessly

My unleashed tears are going to rot out my soul
And I'm going to shrivel up like a grape
Then you're squeeze me into one of your 'Fancy Day's
And the circle will complete itself

. . . . .

He won't come
He won't
He just won't

'Won't' is so hard
'Can't' is understandable
'Don't want to' is flexible
But 'won't' is just devastating

. . . . .

I should send him a jellyfish
One that jumps
One that can cling to faces

I should starve it for a day or two
And then send it to him
With a card that says--

'Enjoy'

The card won't be for him
It'll be an instruction to the jellyfish

. . . . .

Make me another
I want to have another 'Fancy Day'

This time put more sugar in it
The last one was a little bitter