When We Go to the Mall

When we go to the mall
We sit on the escalators
And let people walk by us
Up to greater flights
And better shoe stores

All the good shoe stores
Are on the third floor
Next to the insane pet store
Where they sell squirrels
And dogs with tongues
That never go in their mouths

We try on high heels
In the cheap shoe stores
Down on the basement floor
And pretend we're escorts
Heading out for the night

'I'm going out with a Turkish drug pusher.'
'I'm going out with a Latvian gangster.'
'I'm going out with a guy from Toledo who's saved up all his life for this.'

We should mention
That we're in high school
But we're very worldly

It's a private school
Seventeen blocks from the mall
And when we're too over the city bus
We just walk
In formation
So nobody mugs us

From the rooftop of the parking garage
You can see the Metropolis Hotel
Where Agatha Christie stayed once
And where we're going to live
Once we become famous
And then retire
And move back here

'I'm going to write my generation's "Less Than Zero."'
'I'm going to star in a camp classic.'
'I'm going to host a reality television show.'

We dance around the parked cars
As if we're at a ball
Where all the guests are Mazdas
And we talk about each other
To our invisible partners
And see how close we can get
Without the whispers being heard

We go see rated-R movies
With sunglasses bought from the sunglass hut
And we gasp loudly
When there's sexual content

Mr. Norman Tonz lets us in
Because he goes to school with us
And we stretch out his name
Until he surrenders

'Noooooorrrrrrrman, let us in'
'Let us in, Norrrrrrrrman.'
'Nooorrrrrrmannnn, I'm carrying the Tonnnnnnz heeeirrrr'

We pretend to do cocaine in the bathrooms
As soon as anyone walks in
And wait to see if anyone reports us

'What are you guys doing in here?'
'We're doing cocaine, Norrrrmannnnn'
'Have a bump'
'It's really crushed up lollipop, but it'll send you spiraling, Norrrrman'
'All the cool kids are doing it'

When we're done with Norman Tonz
We head to the chair store
And sit on the massage chairs the wrong way
Then pretend to experience orgasm

We get kicked out of there
And go over to the television store
Where 'Bonnie and Clyde' is constantly playing
And we discuss how handsome
Warren Beatty is, was, is, was
And how we would have known Faye Dunaway
Was going to be a trainwreck
Even then

We get make-up put on us at Macy's
But request the kabuki treatment
Then go to the kimono store
To complete the portrait

At nine thirty, when the mall closes
We go out into the streets
Repeating leftover bits of conversation
And stand underneath the bulking hulk
Of materialism and credit card debt

We bask in its glow
And we're warm
And we're beginning

Beginning it all
All over again