Jack Hardy Looks at the Sphinx

It's like...weird

Like, what is it?

You know?

Like...okay...?

Am I impressed...?

Is it a lion?

Because it has a man's head.

Does it know that?

Is it aware?

I don't think it's aware.

We should have made a picnic lunch or something.

Nice headdress, b-t-dubs

Shouldn't it have a bigger tail?

You know who it looks like? My ex

Whatever

Hate him

Does anyone have one of those little fans that you hold?

Egypt is...dry

I want Kool-aid.

Do you like my sweater?

It's a little out of season, but I refuse to wait until February to wear it.

Plus I'm sweating off tons of excess pound-aggio

Is it looking at me?

Is it one of those things that always looks at you?

Like the Mona Lisa or something?

Isn't she always looking at her?

Like, what's her problem?

You know?

Whatever

I want to be a pharaoh

How do you do that?

Can you just be one?

Do I have to build a pyramid or something?

I could do that

I made a coat hanger out of popsicle sticks at camp

Yeah...

Camp sucked

Whatever

You know what it reminds me of?

A unicorn

Without the horn

But like, you know?

Yeah

Question?

When there were sphinxes walking around

Did people put them in zoos

Or let them roam free?

I would have put them in a zoo

Then stuffed them

So people could just look at that

Instead of having to build a stupid statue like that one

Whatever

You know who looks like a sphinx?

Geena Davis

It's so true

Someone should put a headdress on her

Commander-in-Sphinx

That's her

I'm really hot

Why is it sooo hot?

Is it July and nobody told me?

August isn't July

It's a month later

There should be a noticeable difference in temperature

Whatever

I'm going back to the oasis

I'm pooling it hardcore in five

Are you coming?

This?

Please

I'll just rent Thelma and Louise