Buy Me a Drink

-- The Fourth Noir Piece --

"Buy Me a Drink"

You come here often, Bryce?

A little run-down clam shack
Where the beer is always cold
And the oysters are always
Two for one?

I'll admit
It has its charm

What are you staring at?

My fake arm?

I got a lot of fake things on me, Bryce

My arm
My left eye
My hair
My smile

Not much of me is real
I'm a fantasy
I'm your fantasy
Aren't I, Bryce?

What is it you're looking for?

Hector's killer?

Ohhh, now that's real
That's a little too real for me
For that, you're going to have to buy me a drink

Do they have whiskey here?
Or just lobster juice?
Whatever they have
I'll take

I'm not a picky man, Bryce
You should know that

You're the reason I have this phony eye

You remember Chicago
Don't you Bryce?

The wild nights
The passion
Thinking we could learn how to use b.b. guns
Without hurting ourselves

I only have one eye now, Bryce
But I can see you clear as a floating corpse
In the middle of a newly cleaned
In-ground pool

Hmm?

What am I saying?

I don't know, Bryce
You tell me
What am I saying?

Am I saying Hector might have wound up in the swimming hole of a local drug pusher?
Am I saying the fish and chips here are lousy and they taste like sewage?
Am I saying that before you took my eye you gave me the clap?

Who knows what I'm saying, Bryce?
Nobody speaks the same language anymore

I'll tell you what, Bryce

You buy me a drink
Just one drink
Just enough to get me off the wagon
And I'll tell you where that pool is

But just so you know
I've got a gun under this crab crate
That's supposed to pass for a table
And it's aimed right at your octopus, baby

And after I have myself that drink
I'm going to decide whether or not
I want you getting up from this table

And as of right now, Bryce
Even I couldn't tell you what I'm going to do
Once my liquid courage kicks in

So go ahead, champ
Buy me that drink

And let's see if you still walk out of this fish farm
With all your parts intact