That Shirt Don't Make You Superman

A ratty old blue shirt
With a big red 'S'
Don't make you Superman

You can't just put on your jeans
And put on your sneakers
And sneak out of my bedroom
At 7am when I'm sleeping

And think you're Superman
Because I didn't wake up

You think you're slick
You think I was really asleep
I was laying there thinking

'He thinks he's slick.'
'He thinks he's Superman.'

Well you ain't Superman

You may be fast
You may be dense
You may be ugly half the time
And your day job may suck

But that don't make you Superman

I didn't need you to be a superhero
I just needed you to stick around
You're thinkin' you can just go
Because there's a landslide in Moldavia
Or an avalanche in Chile

But meanwhile I'm chilly laying bed
Playing with the idea of what would happen
If you had the balls to stay

But you won't let me entertain those thoughts
So I don't bother thinkin' 'em

That shirt don't make you look bigger
It makes you look smaller
Like a big kid

But it's not going to make you fly
Except out of her and down my stairs
Past my neighbor
Who keeps telling me you're no good

I should listen to her more often
Lexi's a divorced woman
And she knows
Oh, she knows

She knew the minute she saw you
The last time you flew off
In your Superman shirt

Next time you come over
I'm going hide that shirt
Under a shirt that says 'Kryptonite'
And see if I can't get you
To stay longer than the night