Mikey and the Model

Mikey, he's a model
Let's keep that in mind
Let's remember
That he models

As in it's a verb
As in it's happening
Now, he models
Now

And not like a fake model
Not like a local model
Like Chris Krittle
Who does those stupid catalogues
For his Mom's store
And says he's modeling

This guy is, like,
A real model

Like I've seen him eat pie
He eats pie like a model
He doesn't even get messy
He's incapable of messy

And Mikey, you're like
Really messy

Like, your life
Is just--messy

And like, he sails
He has a boat
He's a boater
With boating equipment

You work at a music store
Which is, like, a cool profession
Thanks to Nick Hornby
But like, you're not a model

He's been to Europe
He's been to obscure Europe
Not even like, just Italy
Or just Paris or London
He's been to the places
You can't find on a map

He's New York, you know?
You're like...Here

You live here
He lives here
But he's like New York
And you're like here
And here is not New York

You know?

Mikey, I love you
Everybody loves you
You're amazing
But he's not going to love you
It's just not happening
You know?

Because he's a model
And you're Mikey
And you're great
But you're not New York

So why bother?

You know?