Is That Your Ace?

So tell something...

Is this nice apartment
Supposed to make up for the fact
That all night you've been acting
Like I fell into a honeypot
Because you asked me out?

Is this nice couch
The one you thought you were getting me on
While I was all tipsy and silly
And thinking maybe you were getting
A little bit more handsome
With each passing moment?

Is that great big bed in there
Where we were going to hook up
So you could tell all your friends
That you snagged a trashy townie
Who actually pays their own bills?

Was all that talk
About what you're majoring in
At a school I couldn't get into
The missing element
That was going to seal the deal
And the bedroom door
So we could get down to business?

Tell me
I'm curious

Was that extra big tip you left
Going to be what impressed me?

Was that wink at the valet
Meant to indicate
That I was going play out
All your wildest dreams?

Was that mention of Cabo
A carrot at the end
Of what I'm guessing is
A really short stick

Seeing if I'd jump at the chance
To be your steady
So I can go tan
In some wonderland
While you parade me around for the locals

And were you hoping
That at some point
I'd forget

That you're an ugly little fucker
With a Napoleon complex
Busted skin, and backne
Who had to go Ivy League
So he'd have a leg up on the world
And forget that he's really Kansas trash
Trying to play Big Boy in the City

So which is it?

The apartment
The car
The money
The clothes
The linen sheets

Or maybe it's your sparkling personality
Maybe that's what it is

Go on, tell me

Is that your ace?