The Dude Just Wants to Sing

Bro, c'mon

The dude just wants to sing

Nah, he can't sing man

He sounds like a squirrel with asthma

But the dude's got heart, you know?

He just wants to sing something

Well, let him sing Bobby Darin or some shit

He's not trying to be Al Pachatti

He just likes that girl over there

And he's drunk

And he wants to sing to her

Look man, I'm trying to be nice about this

But that's my guy over there, all right?

And I don't mean that in a gay way

I mean, we're like brothers

And yesterday he found out that I'm boning the girl he likes

So the guy's not in really good shape tonight

And he still managed to drag his ass out to this lame karaoke bar
So he could get trashed
And sing Aerosmith
While he watches me make out with the girl he thought he was going to get
Even though he should have known better
Because she's not into lameasses, and he's kind of a lameass
You know what I mean?

So now he sees this other girl
Who isn't as pretty as mine
So he's probably got a much better chance with her
But she likes stupid shit
Like when idiots sing karaoke to her
So that's what he's got to do

So can you just let him sing?

Here's five bucks

Put on some bullshit Josh Groban song
And let him rip his own heart out

Please, man?

He's my best friend

Letting him win over that lazy-eyed monstrosity over there
Is the least I can do

You will?

Suh-weet

Hey, wait a second--where'd he go?

His girl's still over there
Where'd he--

Wait, where's my girl?

Shit, wait--what?

No fucking way!

Dude, are you serious?

When did they--

You gotta be--

SHIT!

...Ugh...

...hahaha...

...He got me

Asshole really got me

Yeah, give me that mic

I wanna sing some Michael Bubbleass

See if I can win me the lazy eye over the corner