A Study in Hard Surfaces

I fucked her on the kitchen table

Not this kitchen table
This is a new kitchen table
Although I did eat on the kitchen table
After fucking her on it

Sex is a beautiful act between two people

Skin, breath, contact

Nothing some windex can't take care of
And some paper towel

Two hours after I fucked her on that kitchen table
We were eating sandwiches off it
And having a good laugh

We found that we liked fucking on hard surfaces

The bed...

Well, it just didn't do it for us

Too soft
Too cozy

We used to fall asleep on each other
Even when we weren't tired

Then one day we were in the kitchen
And she was making me sausages
And something about the phallic nature of the meat packing
And the smell of pork
Just got to me

I took her right there
While the butter knives fell to the floor
And the place mats stuck to our naked bodies

After that
It was all about the hard surfaces

I fucked her on every floor in our house
My desk, her desk
The counter tops


One time I even pulled down a bookcase
And did her on the back of it
While looking at the back cover
Of a second edition 'Tropic of Cancer'

After awhile, we ran out of hard surfaces at our house
So we used to go to the neighbors' houses
And see what they had to offer

Our neighbor Reg had this gorgeous pool table
But once I got her on it
She kept saying--

'It's too soft.'
'What are you talking about? It's just felt.'
'I don't like it. It's too comfortable.'

We ended up fucking next to the sink
In his guest bathroom
While he and his wife were downstairs
Assuming that we were arguing about something

I guess we sort of were
But then again, we weren't
We never did argue much

When she left I bought a new kitchen table
And I put carpeting everywhere

Just didn't feel like having everything be so hard anymore