The Other WHAT?

Adam, Adam
Will you calm down for a second?

Hang on, I can't hear a damn thing

Greg's got that music blasting--

GREG! GREG!

I DIDN'T BUY YOU HEADPHONES FOR THAT IPOD
SO THAT YOU COULD PLUG YOUR SPEAKERS INTO IT
AND TURN IT INTO AN AUDIO BATTERING RAM!

Now what do you want, Adam?

WHAT?

Yeah, I have the package

Yup, it says right here--

Mr. Anti-Terrorist American Devil

I'm guessing that's you?

Yeah, it's ticking all right

What, did somebody send you a clock?

Hang on, Adam

GREG! GREG!

DOES THAT SONG HAVE SWEAR WORDS IN IT?

I SWEAR I HEARD THE WORD 'SHIT!'
DID I HEAR THE WORD 'SHIT?'
DID SOMEBODY IN THAT SONG JUST SAY 'SHIT?'

BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE YOU LISTENING TO THAT KIND OF MUSIC!
I'M NOT RAISING MY KID TO POUR THAT SHIT INTO HIS EARS!
SO IF THAT SINGER OR RAPPER OR WHATEVER SAID 'SHIT'
YOU BETTER TURN THAT SHIT OFF AND LISTEN TO SOMETHING ELSE!

Adam, our son is going to Hell
And it's because you work too much

I'm just going to say it

I know you don't like to hear it but--

Yeah, it's ticking

What are you worried about?

If it's ticking, it still works, right?

Huh?

Yeah, there's a winging hanging off it

What kinda lousy clock is this?

Well, there's a few actually

A blue one and a red one and a green one

But they all look plugged in
So I don't know what the--

Cut which one?

Hang on, I gotta find scissors

GREG! GREG!

WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO WITH MY SCISSORS?

DON'T GIVE ME THAT SHIT
I SAW YOU USE THEM
ON THAT PROJECT YOU WERE DOING
ABOUT BETSY ROSS!

Adam, hang on
I'm trying to--

Oh! Here they are!

NEVER MIND, GREG!

I left them on the table
I was using them to cut coupons
For that new supermarket down the street
That only sells mushrooms and copies of Marie Claire

The what?

Why would I want to cut it?

Then the clock won't work

Adam, I--

GREG! GREG!

I HEAR THE NEIGHBOR SCREAMING!

YOU BETTER NOT BE MAKING SHADOW PUPPETS
WITH YOUR GENITALIA AGAIN

THAT POOR WOMAN IS GOING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK
IF SHE SEES YOUR EIFFEL TOWER AGAIN!

Okay, Adam
Now I'm cutting the red wire--

What?

The other WHAT?

I can't hear you!

Tell you what, I'll just cut all three
It'll save time

ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!

CALM DOWN!

God, now I know why our son is so jumpy!

GREG! GREG!

I HEAR THE BUZZER!

DON'T TRY CUTTING YOUR OWN HAIR AGAIN
YOU LOOKED LIKE A NEO NAZI THE LAST TIME

A BLIND NEO NAZI
WITH NO DEPTH PERCEPTION
WHO CAN'T SEE
BECAUSE HE'S GOT NO EYES
BECAUSE GOD PUNISHED HIM
FOR HATING PEOPLE WITHOUT A GOOD REASON
AND DON'T HATE PEOPLE
YOU SEE, GREG?

I'm trying to teach our son right from wrong, Adam
Since you're never here to--

Oh, I already cut that one

Huh?

No, nothing happened

Probably because if you're going to cut a wire
You never cut that one

You cut the other one

Everybody knows that

Jesus, what do you think I do all day while you're at work?

Sit around and watch MacGuyver reruns?

I just told you
I sit around and watch MacGuvery reruns

All right, I gotta go

Tell Homeland Security I'd like my husband back
When he's done saving the world from imaginary terrorists

Oh please, honey
You want danger

Try coming home once in awhile

I just heard Greg go in our room
Which means he's probably already found
My chocolate stash

In about two seconds
This place is going to be a real red zone, Adam

Can't wait for you to get home, honey

I'll have your broken clock waiting for you