Ocean Happenings

I want you to build me a sand castle
Before I go

One I can step in
One with a ceiling
One that has actual walls

I want you to build me a castle
With a front and back door
And then I want to walk through the front door
And out the back door
That will lead directly into the ocean

And that way maybe I won't know
When I've gone from being protected
To being free

I'll go down until my shoulders are covered
And then I'll let my head go back
So that my hair spreads out
Across the water behind me

I'll put my arms out
And let my legs go
And I'll be absorbed
Into a state
Unfamiliar to me

Because now I'm surrounded by solids and air
My whole life, that's been it

Maybe that's the problem
Maybe I needed to be in liquid

Maybe I should have been born a mermaid
Maybe I shouldn't have been born at all

I bought a blue dress I could take into the ocean with me
And last night I dreamed of the dress
And of a small table
And a man sitting at it
With a candle lit by a beautiful blue flame

And I sat with the man
And talked with him
And found out that he's been waiting for me
This whole time

He couldn't get to me on land
Where it's hot
And the heat makes people forget that they're mostly water

And so instead he stayed and waited
With the blue flame slowly expiring

But then I arrived just in time
To see it go out
And grab the man's hands
Before it did

And then the only light we'll need
Will be the ocean

And the happenings around us
Will consist of birth and rebirth
Motion and suspension
Swimming and floating

Fragility and strength

I'm looking forward to it

But I think I'll need a castle before I go
One tall enough to stand in

And when I'm gone
You can live in the castle
And you can feel safe there
Until you're ready
To feel something else