Nana's Wish

My daughter decided she was going to make Christmas dinner this year
A job usually done by me

I said, Okay, Gina
But do you want me to show you how to do it?

And she said--

'Ma, I think I can make a simple dinner'

I believe Custer said the same thing
When his mother asked if he wanted help with the battle

But I kept my mouth shut
And showed up on time
With my contribution to dinner

--The stuffing

Well, Gina started out all right

The salad was fine, the rolls were a little...they were fine

Then came the mashed potatoes

Gina decided to put celery in them

That did not go over well

My grandson said--Mom, the mashed potato has boogers in it

A tougher food critic, you will not find

The corn was hard

I'm not sure how she hardened the corn
But it was like trying to swallow pebbles
And because I'm a supportive mother
I swallowed every single one of those pebbles
And smiled the entire time

And then came the ham

It was...Well, it was the Titanic of hams

She put it on the table
And half of it slid off into the mashed potato bowl

The other half was under-cooked
And when we offered a slab of it to the dog
He ran in the other direction
Like he had just heard the word 'neuter'

After the dinner was done
And we had ordered Chinese take-out
I went into the kitchen
To find Gina sitting on the floor, crying
And eating an entire bag of Barbecue potato chips

'Gina,' I said, 'It wasn't that bad.'

'It was, Ma,' she said, 'I couldn't do it. I couldn't do what you do.'

I sat down next to her on the floor
Let her put her head on my shoulder
And said--

'Gina, you want to know what my wish was this Christmas? I wanted to teach you how to make that dinner. Just like my mom taught me. Mashed potatoes are mashed potatoes. Ham is ham. There's no real trick to it, except for family. Family and tradition are what make that dinner special.'

My daughter looked at me
Smiled, and said--

'All right, Ma. You got a year. Teach me to cook.'

Looks like I got my wish