What Time Is It In India?

Burke?

Burke

Shut the fuck up

Shut the fuck up, Burke

I'm not interested

I'm not at all interested

I have eighteen--

Burke

Burke...

I have eighteen boxes

BOXES, Burke

Sitting there, just--

Just--

Yeah, sitting there

Burke, will you please stop trying to fucking converse with me? I'm not interested in conversing with you, Burke. As far as I'm concerned, if your asshole and your mouth switched places, your words might actually increase in value.

Because you're a fucking moron, Burke.

Because given the opportunity, I would fuck you just to complete your mutation into a fucking bitch.

You piece of shit.

What the fuck am I going to do with EIGHTEEN FUCKING BOXES?

Uh huh

Yeah

Okay

Fuck you, but okay.

No, fuck you, but please, continue.

Uh huh.

Yup.

Okay, go fuck yourself.

That's part one.

Part two is, you have no fucking brain inside that rotted out melon you call a head, you dumbass motherfucker.

Because I can't let eighteen boxes of creamies SIT AROUND for that long, asshole.

They're not fucking ginger snaps, Burke.

They're called Creamies, asshole. That means there's cream in them. Cream goes bad. Is this news to you?

Did they not offer fucking science at Asshole School?

Why the fuck are you working at a cookie company if you don't even know that you can't leave Creamies sitting on the floor of a stock room?

That's like working at the Egg Factory and not knowing what a fucking chicken is.

No, we can't send them out NOW!

Were you born with two assholes or did your mother have to fuck a few extra postmen to give you that extra genetic edge?

Do you know what time it is in India?

Do you?

No, do you?

Do--

Do you?

Do you?

DO YOU?

Do you KNOW--

No, do you--

I will fuck your wife and make you watch, you filthy fuck.

I will treat her like a Mexican pack mule.

I will load her up and send her over from Nicaragua with enough blankets on her to keep me cold during the Honduran nights.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'NO?'

Where's Hondura?

UP YOUR ASS!

THAT'S WHERE IT IS!

THERE'S NO SUCH FUCKING PLACE AS HONDURA, YOU ASSHOLE, IT'S HONDURAS! GET A FUCKING MAP!

What time is it in India?

Just tell me that, Burke.

Just tell me I have not wasted what feels like decades of my life

Speaking to a talking rectum

Just please, tell me you know what time it is in the country where we moved four point seven million dollars in product last year.

Tell me, please, tell me, Burke

That you at least know that.

. . . . .

Okay

Well

See?

That wasn't so hard was it?

Now what do you think I should do with these fucking Creamies?

Put them where?

. . . . .

Burke, you're about to make me lose my temper