She Stole My Yesterdays

She stole my yesterdays
So that I would have to face her
And say 'What?'

'What?'

What is it she wants me to do?

I don't remember eating pie with my grandfather
I don't remember the wedding to my first wife
I don't remember hand gliding over a blue linoleum ocean
I don't
I don't remember

She said this was that
And these things were false
And my memories were parties
Thrown by people
Who never showed up

She packed up everything
Into boxes without labels
And lit them all on fire
Right in front of me

She wrote down every phone number
Every name
Every address
Every puzzle piece
And essay question answer
And varieties of multiples
Including choices and the lack thereof
Piling up like bad grades on exam days

And while she was doing this
I sat there smoking
Using the fire from my mind
To light my cigarettes

I thought I could bargain with her
Explain to her
That I didn't love my past
As much as I loved her

But she didn't want to hear it
She just wanted to erase my history
Up until the point
I found her staring at me
From across a one-way street

Now that she's ready to leave
I have chopped up dreams
Of things that might
Or might not have happened to me
Depending on which part of me
I choose to believe

I sit on my couch
And look at the picture of me
I took while looking at a picture of her

I'm trying to see what I'm missing
What I'm forgetting
What detail is hiding on me

But all I see is her
Refusing to look back

At me