If I Have to Tell Him

If I have to tell him
That she's not coming back
I'll have to go down that pier
One step at a time
Until it's late enough at night
So that all the lights along the lake are gone
And I won't see his eyes
When he finds out
She's gone

If I have to tell him
Someone will need to push me
Push me towards the sitting boy
Who never hurt a fly
Much less this girl
This stupid girl

Who worried about sunscreen and bugspray
When in the midst of pure summer beauty

Someone will have to force me
To deliver this insanity
To that boy
With his arms
Wrapped around his knees
Freezing near the lukewarm water
Waiting for someone to tell him
What he already knows

If I have to tell him
Then give me a script
Lines to read from
Let's make the whole thing a play
A tragedy
And he and I will dive into the lake
Sinking to the bottom
Never thinking that we have to come up

We'll make a home at the bottom there
And when winter falls around us
We'll find it nice that ice is forming
To lock us into time

And I hear if you freeze bad news
Then break it
It becomes something new

If I have to tell him
Tell me how to say it
Tell me how to phrase it
So that the words aren't sharp
But soft and gentle
So that they're around him like a blanket
Before he even knows they're there

If I have to tell him
Then you have to tell me
Please, tell me

Tell me how to tell him
That she's not coming back